Quoted By:
<span class="mu-r">“Keep it in your pants, Kravinoff. Word on the Web is that our Diamond District is in danger of being overrun by killer cookies, and we’re the only ones who can stop it.”</span> you said, in the most overly serious tone you could muster.
Ana raised an eyebrow.
<span class="mu-g">“<span class="mu-i">This</span> is the biggest threat that you could find?”</span>
<span class="mu-r">“The biggest one that had the largest capacity for wonton violence, apparently.”</span> you clarified.
<span class="mu-g">“I’m noting a severe lack of ‘skulls’ to crack.”</span>
You shrugged.
<span class="mu-r">“What if they’re Mexican cookies?”</span>
The look on Ana’s face told you that she had reserved a considerable portion of brain to decoding the meaning of your joke. The poor girl didn’t even realize that you hadn’t dropped the punchline yet.
Finally, she shook her head.
<span class="mu-g">“I don’t see what that has to do with-”</span>
You reached up to tap the side of your head.
<span class="mu-r">“Then they’ll have sugar skulls!”</span>
Ana’s eyes widened, and she just barely managed to suppress a snort.
<span class="mu-r">“Ha! Made ya laugh.”</span> you pointed out.
<span class="mu-g">“That was a terrible joke.”</span> she protested, fighting a smile from forming on her face.
<span class="mu-r">“You must have a terrible sense of humor, then.”</span>
<span class="mu-r">“You’re both terrible. Now, let’s get this show on the road!”</span> Julia added, reminding you that she was still on the line.
<span class="mu-g">“If I don’t see a killer cookie in front of me in ten minutes, I’m hitting you instead.”</span> she said, unable to hide her amusement.
<span class="mu-r">“So, Gingerbread Men first, steak later. Got it.”</span> you said, releasing your grip on the webline and allowing yourself to fall.
Ana wasn’t far behind you, so you snagged her with a webline, pulled her close and started the downward arc of a high-velocity web-slingshot that should send you flying in the general direction of where you wanted to go.
And, if the excited grin on her face was any evidence, she didn’t seem to hate the web-swinging experience at all.
—-------
Not long after, you both arrived on the scene of what could’ve been the most ridiculous robbery you’ve ever witnessed. And, to your endless amusement, Madame Webb didn’t disappoint.
In the street, and on either side of it, man-sized gingerbread cookies were looting jewelry stores and mugging anyone unlucky enough to be passing through the area. Some were smacking people around with their crumbly nubs, and others were wielding weapons ranging from giant candy canes to oversized lollipops.
Cops were only just starting to arrive on the scene, but they didn’t seem capable of doing much damage with their guns and tasers, and were forced to fight back with batons. There were even some victims banding together to jump a crippled killer cookie that’d been isolated and singled out.
<span class="mu-r">“God, I love this city…”</span> you sighed.
(Cont.)
