>>5977473You take a minute to calm down further before you once again get up, and wander into the forest to look for Masami, calling her name, which she isn’t answering to.
Eventually you find her, sitting against a tree trunk, hugging her thighs as she pulls them into her chest. She just watches a beetle walking by.
“I’m sorry.” She says.
“Sorry about what?”
“I was scared. I couldn’t go out there.”
“That’s… There’s nothing to be sorry about. Denki was a big help. That’s enough.”
She shakes her head. “No. I made you and Naoki do it alone because I was too chicken.”
“You were-” You have to pause to drink water. Your mouth was so damn dry. “You weren’t scared to fight; you were scared to hurt people. That doesn’t make you a chicken, that makes you a good person.”
Your own words feel like a storm of blades in the interior of your skull, and you’re once again starting to feel completely disoriented. But you needed her to feel better.
She wipes her face with her sleeve. In your dissociated state you’re in awe of how fat and heavy her teardrops could be, and how you can see the snot trail from her nose to her sleeve without thinking it’s gross. She wipes her face some more as you begin gently rubbing the hair on her scalp.
Only now does the tension in your chest slowly begin to dissipate.
“I’ll do better next time.” She says.
“I don’t mind either way.” You respond. “It’s fine either way.”
You detect the sound of the caravan approaching. The trail leading to the bridge wasn’t too far away. You take Masami by the hand and help her up. She wipes her face for a third time, before silently suppressing her emotions as you lead her to the caravan.
When you emerge from the woods, Kin gives you a beaming smile.
“Our guardians! How was the scouting?”
“It’s safe.”
“I sure hope so! It’s why we’re paying you!” He says, letting out a hearty chuckle. Disorienting.
The caravan passes over the bridge without comment. Nobody notices anything out of place. The only comment you hear is Shinji noticing the hole punched into the bridge and mentioning poor maintenance.
You couldn’t help but deeply despise these bastards right now, but it will pass. They didn’t know any better.
You wish they knew, so they could judge you. Some kind of vain hope that they’d judge you more favorably than you’re judging yourself.
You look around for Hotaru, hoping that she’ll emerge with some wisdom that could set you straight and reaffirm that you’re on the right path. You catch her gaze as she watches over you from a branch on the other side of the bridge. Impossible to know how long she’s been there.
The look in her eyes is steel, and bone. Completely dead, until she notices you’re watching her, and she smiles, giving you a curt wave that didn’t make any sense. Disorienting.
Birds circle overhead. Scavengers.
This day was going to stick with you for a long time. A long, long time.
