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Against your better judgment, you ultimately decided to swing on down to the tree that the squirrel was waving at you from. Your eyes hadn’t betrayed you. At first glance, it didn’t look to be anything more than a common squirrel. You couldn’t speak to what exact breed of squirrel you were dealing with, either. You weren’t really a squirrel guy.
Upon closer examination, though, you noticed that there was a pink little bow tied around its neck. Was this someone’s pet?
<span class="mu-r">“Hey there, little guy. This is a dangerous place for you to be.”</span>
The squirrel squeaked in protest, stamping its foot multiple times and clenching its furry little fists in what you could only interpret as outrage. Your eyes went wide and you leaned away from it slightly, worried that it was about to go rabid. You weren’t sure if your healing factor protected you against rabies.
But then, you noticed the color of the bow, and an apparently crucial detail clicked into place in your mind.
You bowed your head in apology.
<span class="mu-r">“Sorry. ‘Little <span class="mu-i">lady</span>’.”</span>
The lady squirrel folded her arms and nodded once, seemingly mollified by your correction.
<span class="mu-r">“Either way, my previous statement still stands. Did you need some help? I’ve never met a squirrel that couldn’t get out of a tree, but then again, I’ve never met a squirrel with this much personality. You should seriously consider auditioning for America’s Funniest Home Videos. Or at least making a viral YouTube video with me. I’ll split the profit with you 50/50. What do you say?”</span>
In a surprisingly human gesture, the squirrel scratched at her chin and tilted her head up slightly, almost as if she’d been seriously considering your offer. But instead, she shook her head as if to clear it, and waved you closer.
You leaned in cautiously, and one of the squirrel’s tiny hands touched the side of your face and shoved at it weakly. With her other hand, she pointed at one of the school buildings in the distance. You allowed her hand to position your head until it was looking at the exact location where she was pointing.
<span class="mu-r">“You want me to go there?”</span>
She nodded eagerly.
<span class="mu-r">“Why? What’s over there?”</span>
She gave you an impatient look, and you thought she was just going to leave it at that. Instead, she turned to the side, struck a boxer’s pose and squared her shoulders. She threw a series of lightning fast jabs that even Matt would be proud of. They were sharp and crisp, without an ounce of wasted effort. She then smoothly transitioned into a spinning roundhouse kick, followed by a front flip into an axe kick. You were so transfixed by the entire performance that you likely would’ve fallen from the tree if it weren’t from your sticky fingers.
When she was done, she looked to you expectantly.
<span class="mu-r">“So…there’s a fight going on there, and you want me to do something about it?”</span>
She made a show of looking around, almost as if to ask who else she’d be talking to, if not to you.
(Cont.)
