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It isn't new, and has been there for a while. You know others feel it too. It isn't exactly sadness or even dissatisfaction, just moreso a feeling of emptiness or maybe longing. You have pretty much what every Leeray wants; those fourteen hour shifters, those low-budget freelancers, those privateers truckers going mad from boredom on long trips no self respecting spacer wants to take; and yet here you are- somehow not feeling satisfied with it all.
<span class="mu-i">Is this all there is?</span>
You lay back on your bed in your custom, high-budget private quarters on the space station, the patented paints on the wall you pay a few thousandths for for their stabilization and anti-stain technology- all this and it just feels like nothing to you. What's the point of this?
The only thing in your life that makes you happy now is seeing her. The intense sensation of her presence and sex- it fills you with a sense of peace. But the moment you're taken away from it, you go back to this ennui. Even now, you find it hard to think of it as anything but a distraction.
Is this all we do? Work, consume, fuck, die? Even if you have a child, which would just separate you from your lover, would it really change anything? You'd grow them up to become... what? Another version of you? Another one for the rat race? Your whole life, you've been obsessed with chasing status and temporary highs that make you feel like you're getting somewhere, but you're really just going in a circle.
You just want to get back to her. Maybe this time... you should tell her you love her.
>Tell her how you really feel
>Keep distant
