Quoted By:
<span class="mu-i">Well</span>, you begin practically <span class="mu-i">DRIPPING</span> with eagerness, it took a while, but you <span class="mu-i">finally</span> scraped together enough scratch to enroll in that <span class="mu-g">P-</span>
“<span class="mu-s">Stanley Parble, if you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say I’ll write you out of the will right here and now.</span>” Warns your father in his rare, but <span class="mu-i">DEADLY</span> serious voice!
“Really, honey? <span class="mu-i">Pole-Dancing</span> again?” Asks your mom, prompting your dad to let loose with an earth-shattering groan! Hey, <span class="mu-i">SHE</span> said it, not you! Besides, you counter, your boss left you with a stupidly-large checque before she went crazy and died–what were you <span class="mu-i">supposed</span> to spend it on?
“Vocational training?” Your dad suggests.
“College?” Asks your mom.
“The plane tickets to Vermont you told me you couldn’t afford?” Inquires Mitzi as she peeks out from behind your parka’d form! You’ll pay her back, honest!
“Look, Stanley, it’s… we know you’ve been through, well… a <span class="mu-i">lot</span>.” Your father begins, forcing himself back into a softer tone, “But what about your <span class="mu-i">future</span>? Something you can really get into?”
“Yes,” mom huffs, “Preferably something with less tassels?”
You open your mouth to respond, but you catch yourself–they didn’t go for the ‘<span class="mu-i">good way to stay in shape</span>’ argument before–it ain’t gonna work now… well, you segue as your parents look at you with a mixture of worry, pity, and mild disgust, you erm, you also got a call from… <span class="mu-i">Good Bo-</span>
“On second thought, maybe the Pole-Dancing’s better!” Your mom interjects!
“Hold on a sec, Mare-” your dad states in as diplomatic a tone he can muster, “let’s hear her out… What do they want, Stan? Tell me it’s a settlement of some kind.”
Well you haven’t really picked up yet, you shrug, but they keep calling, so…
“So let them call!” Your mom suggests with a dramatic wave of her hand! “That horrible corporation nearly killed you… you take all the time you need before answering them, okay?”
“And when you <span class="mu-i">DO</span> answer,” Dad confidently adds, “They’d better be sending you on a paid vacation, not another ‘<span class="mu-i">Bones Quest</span>’!”
Well, you add, Syb <span class="mu-i">was</span> talking about a few more ‘<span class="mu-i">i</span>’s that needed ‘dotting’, so maybe-
“You know what, dear? That Pole-Dancing class is starting to sound better, isn’t it?”
“You’re right, Oscar! Maybe I could join too! It could be a family thi-”
Immediately regretting your life choices, you decide to segue into another topic:
>WHAT DO THEY PLAN TO DO NOW THAT CLEARWATER’S SCREWED?
>WHAT WERE THEY UP TO WHEN THE SHIT HIT THE FAN ANYWAYS?
>BEAT A RETREAT AND TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE!
>BACK TO THE TIME STREAM! YOU’RE DONE HERE!
>WRITE-IN!
