Quoted By:
>24 - C.L. Smooth Fail!!
You hate to admit it, but you need more liquid courage.
You zing to the closest corner store in your truck.
You're still trying to save up your cash, those bendy straws put you back a buck twenty-nine. You only have $19,976.77 left, you can't let it dwindle day to day by PAYING for beer.
No... You NEED to steal it. You killed the devil, so there's no right or wrong anyway.
You walk to the refrigerator with the Coors Light in it. You look around, there's a few cameras, but who cares?
Stuffing the cold cans down your pants, you feel an equally cold paw grasp your wrist.
"Wh-wh-wh-what a-aa-a-a-a-are y-y-y-yy-yy-y-yyy-you d-dd-d-d-d-dddddddoing???"
Ethel Earthlington, the aging proprietor of the corner store caught you red handed.
You can't bring yourself to steal beer from an old lady, but you can...
>Find it within you to wring the dusty life out of her wrinkly neck and jump on her brittle bones until they break and splinter. "Know your place, worm." **SPIT**
>Apologize and kindly exit the store.
>Notice her name. "Earthlington", huh? Heh. You're such a fool. How did it take you so long to notice... Rip her FaceBook™ off, chew up her alien legs and stick her in a condom.
.>Pay for the beer (UNAVAILABLE - WATCH YOUR FINANCES, MAN!!!)
>(WRITE IN)
>93 - Big success in Flavortown!!
You wander off to the restaurant next door, Chicken Castle, wiping your hands on your shirt.
You order a pitcher of beer and wait for it to be served/called up.
As soon as the Cute Chick waitress lays the pitcher down, you lay your hand on it without looking while searching for your wallet... and you feel a feathery sensation on your beer hand!!
You look up and there he is, the Chicken Knight, right in front of you, challenging you to joust over your fresh, cold pitcher of beer.
If you win, you get a free bucket.
You accept.
He mounts a veiny, red cock.
Do you mount a cock as well?
>Mount the biggest, fattest white cock you can find.
>Mount a tiny yellow cock more suitable for sitting on.
>Mount the meanest cock in the stable that produces the most drool, the black cock.
>No, I will take on the knight and his pink-helmeted cock alone.
>Cower from the competition. You'll pay for your bucket and a new pitcher of beer like a good boy.
>(WRITE IN)
>81 - Truck Plow roll, Borat say "Very Nice!"
You return to the immigration buidling from Flavortown, drunk and full of chicken(feed. Chicken Castle sells buckets of worms, corn, millet and chickenfeed, not actual chicken. You... Don't think you'll ever be going back to that place...).
Full Tum-Tum
Empty Bum-Bum
Before mind go Dum-Dum
Let that engine go Vrum-Vrum!!
You've been singing that ditty in your head since third grade.
Now you sing it as you launch yourself off the bicycle rack into the immigration center.
(CONT'D)
