>>5339819"Maybe. It's hard to say, in hindsight.” You hesitate, looking back ruefully on the very beginnings of your time in the Crucible. The very start of your life, really. You breathe in, then-
Breathing out, you understand what’s really being asked. Another inhalation, and the story takes shape in your mind, along with the harsh lessons it taught you. Sharing them is going to be hard, sure…
…but there might be some solace to be found, in those willing to listen.
"It's complicated, to say the least. Whenever I try to think back on it, I find my feelings fluctuate along with the memories." You admit, honestly. "Back then, when I was just a fresh newborn. She was the first girl I latched onto. The first friendly face that I met. A friend. Things were simple back then. Back then she and I were simply two girls just trying to explore and survive the world.”
Ozmas is impassive, her hard Hexane features giving nothing away as you continue. "I trusted her, she trusted me. It was a feeling that magnified when you granted me the bonds your race shared. That empathetic network. And I loved her for that. I loved her as a friend."
You think she makes some sort of noise, at that, but she doesn’t stop you.
"And that I guess was what made this whole thing so tragic. She and I...we viewed each other through two different definitions of love." At the time, neither of us knew that we were operating on different wavelengths despite the Hexane empathy network. Both of us took the empathy for granted and mistook that trust for the love we thought the other had for us." You swallow, the lump in your throat as hard a thing to swallow as the tale you’re telling. "But eventually that miscommunication grew and the relationship between she and I began to fray, bit by bit, as I started to discover Sam's and Isabelle's past, and as Isabelle grew more desperate for the love that she craved. Even with the talks we held, it was done under the assumption that both of us knew what we were talking about. But in reality, it was just the two of us talking past each other. Neither of us properly explored the relationship we had with each other."
"Eventually all of it came to a breaking point, as you know.” You sigh. “It was when she found out about the Crimson Cord between Gina and I. It was a thing she couldn't bear seeing that the type of love that she thought she wanted from me was already being taken by someone else. Shit…even now it still hurts thinking back about it. The tragedy of it all. B'ni killing Gina, me killing B'ni. All of it could have been avoided if everyone talked things out in an effort to slowly come to understand each other."
Then, with tired shrug and a weary smile; "But here we are, with no way to turn back the clock…and yet, despite all of that and what she and I did to each other? I don't truly hate her.”
(Continued)
