Quoted By:
You've wandered circles in the forest for days while holding on to hope: the hope that you'll get fucking laid. But through all this wandering, there's been a surprising lack of... Life. Other than the bugbear droppings, you haven't seen any other sign of life in these woods. Man, what were you thinking, coming out here?
Simultaneously, in the exact second you give up hope, a great tremor erupts and rumbles throughout the forest for about a half a minute. Then, you see Him. From behind the familiar boulder with the familiar moss and the familiar shrubbery is a massive elk, towering into the canopy of leaves, branches clacking and snapping at the tips of his gigantic antlers. It's instantly apparent who this majestic creature is: because he's the mascot for one of the four houses of Pigsnorts. Your house. House Stagghornn.
"King Stagghornn!! You've come to protect and bless me as you've protected and blessed these lands?!" Out of respect, you wipe clean your snotty beard onto your novitiate robe.
King Stagghornn is still for a moment, then lets loose a low, bassy bray, and nods.
He sets his colossal hoof on the mossy boulder in the middle of the crossing, and tilts it over, rolling it down a hill until it unceremoniously crashes into a group of trees, which buckle but do not break as they catch it. You watched in awe while the many-ton rock was tossed around like a ragdoll, and when you turned around, King Stagghornn had already mysteriously disappeared. Looking at unearthed ground, you notice an ancient wooden trapdoor with a faded silver ring-type handle. You wanted to thank the King before he left, but you settle by shouting into the wooded wind: "Thank you King Stagghornn!!!!!"
You look at the trapdoor, excited by mystery and mirth. What lies beneath? Only one way to find out, so you draw your wand, cast an illumination cantrip, and open the door to the underground shaft.
A few minutes in... Pretty standard fare, so far. Couple of thick, dusty cobwebs. Cold groundwater dribbling from the stone walls. An ancient taste of natural mustiness in the air. The passage winds deeper and deeper into the earth. You begin to wonder if coming down here was a smart idea...
As the passage winds and you fight through a few more spiderwebs, you begin finding iridescent glowing mushrooms lining the edges of the cave floor. Eventually, you come to a wooden door with a ring handle, similar in construction to the trapdoor above. You gulp, and decide for some reason that it'd be best to knock.
*KRAK-kkk*
*KRAK-kkk*
*KRAK-kkk*
Each knock echoes, maybe all the way back up to the surface. You stare intently at the door for a few seconds. Nothing. You reach out your hand and touch the handle, and...
*Fizzt!*
Your illumination cantrip fizzles out, leaving you in the dim embrace of the rainbow cave shrooms.
