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Do we still have the spike the Canine stabbed us in the chest with in the office? I remember it was too jagged to wield since we would just cut our hands up grabbing it but since our shirt is little more than rags at this point and doesn't really cover us after the fight with the owl monster we could just take it off and wrap it around the spike, tie the shirt into place at both ends using JJ's balloons to be a makeshift grip.
We could have a makeshift spear or short spear if it's not too long. Could be a good mid to long range weapon.