>>5408375The emotional aftermath of your admission takes a toll on you that is almost physical, however. When the dwarf is out of sight, you slump forward, chest pained as if you had been hit in the chest by another berserker’s maul or crushed beneath a second shoggoth-core. You take a breath, then another. You close your eyes, slip into a meditative state, and confront the turmoil beneath the surface of your soul.
You remember Davora—her last words to you, her misplaced trust, her death. You recall, even before that, Glowie’s final attempt to embrace you, you share physical and emotional intimacy with you, before her transformation into a great and terrible insect queen; you remember your ambivalence, your discomfort, the way you fled the strange feelings which filled you then.
You remember the Novice Fleshweaver’s touch, her strangely-enticing teasing, even her rare encouragements and reassurances—always focused on the mission, or her studies, or survival.
The Master Race is not without emotion. This is not heresy to acknowledge. It is objective fact. All Reptilians feel joy, sadness, anger, grief, triumph, confusion, disgust, despair… Even camaraderie, to an extent, and compassion.
But not love.
The deep loss you see on Olu’s face sometimes, when he takes Paeris’ repaired harp from his pack and tunelessly strums it… The way Jazkarmel looks at him, and the way he subtly touches her and she leans into that touch, even though you know by scent that their couplings have been rare on this journey…
The angst and turmoil your mammal allies feel when they lose a companion, be they parent, friend, or lover…
This is weakness. Illogic. The Master Race does not feel that pain. And you… You are a KING. A DRAGON KING. Certainly, you desire respect, belonging, community… But like a kobold desires such things. Like a KING desires (nay, requires!) subjects.
You don’t want, let alone NEED partnership, friendship… Romance…
Right?
>Yes, you will transcend this feeble “love”, in the name of greater dragonhood and divine ascendancy>No, you cannot deny it: you ARE capable of the deep, “weak” compassion and companionship of mammals, and you are tired of denying it 