>>5958538You stared wide-eyed at Tim, shocked by the intensity of his reaction. Is this the same man has so tenderly comforted you? Possibilities flit past your eyes, all the ways your relationship can go from here. Suppressing the habitual urge to keep talking and compromise yourself (or Silas) further, you warily sit up, eyes still locked on to him.
“I'm sorry, Tim, if it's anythin-” Uncontrollably, the tears start falling again.
“Don't say sorry to me, I don't need it. Say it to the men who you have killed.” He looks away, swallowing his anger. “Who you have denied the dignity of a fair trial.”
His fist clenches and relaxes several times as you struggle to stand up. “Also, don't call me by my first name ever again, Ma'm.” The last word was pressed into a curt monosyllable. “Please address me as Lieutenant Commander Johnson from now on, if we have any reason to talk after this.”
You stumble out as the door snaps shut behind you. Wandering in a daze, your feet lead you into yet another maintenance locker. Lacking the strength to go on, you fall on your bottoms and cry your heart out.
How could he do this to you? You who have laid out everything, who have stripped your soul naked before him? Is the law really that much more important to him than you? And what law, really? What law can forbid you from executing those who have threatened your life? You feel your right cheek with your hand. The pain has subsided, but under the skin red-hot shame lingers.
How could you let him do this? He betrayed your trust like that, and you just fled like a kicked puppy without even attempting to fight back. What's worse, where had you gone wrong, misjudging him so badly? You allowed his theatrics, his trivia, his cultured facade to hide the chauvinism beneath. Oh Sylvie, you fool!
You said all these things to comfort yourself, but at the back of your mind an incessant voice whispers. It is not him who failed you, it is you who failed to measure up. He, and everyone else on the ship, deserves a better captain than this wreck, this murderous whore. Perhaps it is a good thing then that you revealed your true nature so soon, before your bond could deepen. You bite down your thumb until the physicality of the pain overwhelms all of your brain's higher functions.
<span class="mu-s">With a bleeding thumb and a mind cleared somewhat, you start to consider your options.</span>
>Try to catch Tim in public. With eyes on him, maybe you two can talk this out like adults.>Send Tim a private message. Perhaps he would be more willing to write rather than talk.>Ask Tim's sister Barbara for suggestion. She knows him much better than you do. >Scout out his room's ventilation system. Would be a shame if something were to happen to it.>Go to Silas. Whether he will hate you for this or not, he's every inch deep in hot water as you are.>Do nothing. Let his temper subside first.>Write-in 