Quoted By:
“Stan, what the hell?” Growls Talbot as you Stan your ground!
Alright, you explain, these guys <span class="mu-i">might</span> just be doing their jobs and you <span class="mu-i">MIGHT</span> actually be banned from the boardwalk after several post-batting practice public intoxication reports, but if they locked up everyone who enjoyed a drink or two in this country there’d be no one left to live in it!
Most importantly, you add as you silently remove your heels, these morons crashed your date! It was just getting <span class="mu-i">juicy</span> too! Look at that <span class="mu-b">DATE RANK,</span> damn it!
“That’s right…” Nods one of the rent-a-cops as he moves in to cuff you, “Don’t make us call <span class="mu-r">ANIMAL CONTROL</span> like last time…”
“A-animal control?” Asks Talbot as he smooths out his sweaty hair!
They left a whole jar of peanut butter out, okay?! Anyone woulda’ fallen for that trap! Taking a moment to make sure your boobs aren’t gonna fall out, you take a step towards your would-be apprehenders and let loose a primal <span class="mu-s">SHRIEK</span> into the air!
Recoiling in a mixture of pain, terror, and confusion, both of the security goons retreat just far enough for you to put your plan into motion! Warming up your <span class="mu-g">LASER EYE,</span> you aim for the growing puddle of grease below your picnic bench and <span class="mu-s">LETTERRIP!</span>
As the table explodes into a massive grease fire, Talbot steps between you and your harassers and jabs an accusatory finger in their panicked direction!
“Arrest <span class="mu-i">THIS</span>, <span class="mu-i">RENT-A-PIGS!</span>”
“Hey, we’re just doing our j-”
Before the guard can finish his rebuttal, your stalwart follows up by smacking the bench at the Rent-A-Cops with a <span class="mu-g">GOODBOYNIUM TENTACLE!</span> Toppling both of them over like a burning bowling ball, the bench sails over the edge of the pier to the immense enjoyment of your fellow pier patrons! The goons aren’t nearly as lucky, however–caked in a mixture of grease, oil, and booze, both of them light up like Jack-O-Lanterns as the flames leap onto their kits!
“Yow, this situation’s heating up!” Exclaims Officer 1 as he struggles to put himself out!
“Guess this means we’re FIRED!” Howls the other as he wriggles out of his burning armor!
Watching the <span class="mu-r">CHAOS</span> unfold with a manic grin on your face, your grim excitement is put on hold when Talbot grabs your hand and pulls you away from the scene!
<span class="mu-r">+CHAOS!</span>
“C’mon!” He shouts, “We’ll lose ‘em over there!”
Not really in the mood to argue right now, you snatch your heels off the ground and follow Talbot into <span class="mu-g">THE MIDWAY!</span>
>CONTD.
