Quoted By:
Okay, okay, you think to yourself, take a chill pill, Ant… these guys don’t seem like the brightest bulbs in the drawer, that means it’s time to get a little CREATIVE!
Funny you should ask, you reply with a smug grin and a puffed-out chest! The truth is you got smacked in the head during the fight-
“Wot fight?” Interjects Left Guard with a noticeable rise of interest in his tone!
Why, the fight against Salty Suutz’ hired muscle! <span class="mu-i">SKOG</span> muscle! Skuscle!
“Thas’ a good word, it is…” Remarks Right Guard with a creak of his helmet–a nod, you think. Hey, he can keep it!
“So you’re saying you an’ this Skog fought <span class="mu-i">more</span> Skogs?” Scoffs Left Guard with renewed disbelief! “Skogs foightin’! Now that’s the most believable detail so far!”
It’s the truth, you repeat with diminishing patience, and you’ve got plenty of witnesses to back it up! One’s even a wizard!
“Alright, alright…” Groans Left Guard as his counterpart creaks derisively, “So what ‘appened after your little skirmish, ey?”
Well you got conked on the head pretty hard, you explain, offering said head for the guard to poke. He doesn’t. Volka had enough on her plate: the hostages, Salty Suutz… so you opted to stay behind while your pal TT dressed your wounds!
“Thaaaat’s right!” Adds TT as she leaps to center stage with a trill of her instrument! “A sea of blood it was: the gore rising to my ear tips-”
T, you hiss, <span class="mu-i">cool it!</span>
“Errr, I mean…” She stammers as an untuned note springs from her Striili, “Yea, I was his <span class="mu-i">Nurse</span>! It took ages just to get him on his feet again… and his head!” The girl punctuates her diagnosis with a shudder!
“H… his head?” Ask the guards and Volka in perfect unison.
“I’m a doctor, not a poet… Well, I’m both, actually… but let’s just say those Skogs bashed his brains into a <span class="mu-i">SOUP!</span>” She declares! “It’s a wonder he can even stand or speak properly!”
T…
“And don’t get me started on his bodily functions!” Adds the Durher ‘Doc’ with a shake of her head! “Why, he must have soiled himself five times on the way here! Mitaar knows when he’ll do it again, and you <span class="mu-i">know</span> how ill-people smell-”
T!
“Alright, <span class="mu-i">ALRIGHT!</span> “ Sputters Left Guard with renewed urgency in his voice, “You can keep the Skog, jus’ hold it in until we’s outta’ ‘ere!”
Scampering away like a pair of kids getting caught egging a house, the guards leave you with Volka and her… dad?
“I don’t know who you are,” He begins as he stares holes through your face, “But if you even <span class="mu-i">think</span> of poopin’ on my property I’ll pop ya’ in the mouth!”
Damn it, T…
>CONTD.
