All men die, but not all truly live.

You, however, have truly lived. You had the great fortune to be born in a first world country with a developed economy, raised by affluent hardworking parents and given an education your grandparents only dreamed of. Civilization has granted you a stable, insulated dwelling to keep out the elements, a comfy chair made of sophisticated synthetic polymers, an electronic computing device capable of doing thousands of calculations a second and processing information in ways that would've seemed supernatural to people living just a century ago, and enough free time to utilize all these resources to play Elden Ring all day.

But there's a problem. After several long hours spent chasing the night elves out of Hyrule or whatever that faggoty game is about, biology is beginning to catch up to you. For over an hour you have now ignored last night's hot pockets gently knocking at your back door. This was done with quite little difficulty, but now your bladder is beginning to reach its full capacity. There's no denying it: You must go #3. In your truly gifted wisdom, you decide to...

>cross your legs and hold your pee a little longer

>pee in your pants

>look around the room for a convenient receptacle to pee in

>get up and begin a long, difficult march to the bathroom