It's dark. You don't know where you are, and you certainly don't know how you got here. Last thing you remember was hiking out in Zion National Park. The trail got a bit thing in places, and-

[A freak lightning bolt struck the trail and you wound up falling to your death.]

Huh? Where did that voice come from?

Oh, wait, there's light now. Light, and a lady with the biggest bazongas you ever did see giving you an apologetic look that's slowly turning to disgust. Wait, can she read your mind or something? Well how on Earth are you not supposed to notice such a pair of massive mammaries when the chainmail they're hiding behind looks like it's going to burst open?

[Human men are so predictable...] The woman lets out a soft sigh and forces a smile onto her face. [But, since my brother's negligence got you killed, I suppose I can let it fly. Now where are my manners - Greetings, Mortal. I am the Goddess Freyja, who presides over the cycles of life and death.]

You think you read this one before. The next thing she's going to do is apologize for the gods making a mistake that resulted in your death, probably Thor playing around with lightning. Then you'll get reincarnated into some sort of fantasy setting loosely based on the Holy Roman Empire with a cheat power and maybe some gigachad confidence and charisma to build a harem... wait, why is she giggling now? Oh God, she can read your mind, can't she?

[Nothing, it's nothing], the goddess shakes her head, her eyes alight with amusement. [Your assumptions are largely correct. My brother Thor was appalled that his quarrel with Loki resulted in someone's death, and Loki himself thought it might be amusing to try out that particular template. Though he may have... well, you'll find out about that later.]

So you ARE getting a cheat.

[Yes.] Freyja snorts. With a fluid motion, she draws a hand of cards from her cleavage and shows them to you. Each appears to have the stylized likeness of what you can only presume to be a god. [Many of the gods pitched in, and there's a betting pool in Valhalla as to which one you will choose. Mind you, you can only take one. Once you pick your card, there's no turning back.]
>The Divine Cursed Sword 'Everblack Midnight'. Njorun, Goddess of Dreams, dreamed up this cheat and turned it into a reality. It is an ultimate weapon whose power eclipses even that of the vaunted Excalibur.
>Electrokinesis. Thor will grant you his blessing, and with it the ability to call forth lightning much the way he does. An intuitive and powerful magic, its biggest drawback is the limit of its scope.
>Healthy Body. Freyja's own blessing. You become immune to the ravages of disease and sickness, and your body's ability approaches - and in some ways, exceeds - the peak of human potential.
>Illusion Mastery. Loki's blessing, the ability to create illusions that are exceedingly real.
>Rune Mastery. Odin's blessing, an introduction to the secret knowledge of runes that can be put towards great magic