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Drowned Quest Redux 28

!!1oQZB1czRDh ID:40Q0Ehom No.5404792 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
You are Charlotte Fawkins, dashing heroine, detective, adventuress, heiress, sorceress, etcetera. Three years ago, you drowned yourself in a quest to find a long-lost family heirloom; nowadays, you're just nobly c̶a̶u̶s̶i̶n̶g solving problems with the help of un-trusty advisor(?) Richard and trusty retainer Gil. Inexplicably, many people "dislike" you, though you've never done anything wrong in your life.

Right now, you are plotting out the party make-up for the expedition to rescue your kidnapped frenemy Madrigal.

-

It all comes rather easily to mind, once you flop back down on your cot and stare up at the ceiling. Of <span class="mu-i">course</span> this day will go better than the last, because today is the day you're going to bust in and rescue Madrigal. Single-handedly.

«You have to be joking.»

Oh? Oh, damn. Richard's draped over the edge of your cot, back to his usual dead-eyed self. Is he hungover?

«Why would I be hungover.»

Because he— because he was piss-drunk last night? <span class="mu-i">So</span> piss-drunk, in fact, that he didn't bother waking you up while you were being physically dragged out to the Fen <span class="mu-i">and</span> back home? Unless he didn't bother because you slammed the door on him, but— but, look, it was <span class="mu-i">freaky</span> how drunk he was. He was acting <span class="mu-i">freaky.</span> Does he even remember any of it?

«I don't see how this is relevant to the present topic of conversation.»

You're unsure whether that means "yes, and I'm embarrassed" or "no, and I'm embarrassed," but you're considering it a win in any case. And what was the topic of conversation? That you were joking? Because no, you do fully plan on rescuing—

«'Single-handedly.' Your bumbling will obviously necessitate my help.»
«Not to mention your pet. What is the purpose of him if you do not allow him to sacrifice himself in your stead.»

What? You're not <span class="mu-i">sacrificing</span> Gil. You just told him—

«Highly confidential speculation about myself. How <classy> of you.»
«Nevertheless, all the better for sacrificing. I believe he will even do it willingly.»

It is way too early in the— you are <span class="mu-i">not</span> sacrificing Gil, okay? You probably will bring him along, since he's your retainer, and he has a gun and stuff. In a pinch he might even shoot it. And he can do... beetle things. Yeah! So of course you're bringing him. You never know when you need beetle things. And— and look, when you said 'single-handedly,' it was kind of a figure of speech. Because you have been thinking about who else to bring along, and you've more-or-less narrowed it down. Besides yourself and Gil, you're going to bring <span class="mu-i">Monty, Eloise, Lucky, and Annie.</span>

«...»
«How unbelievably stupid.»

What? You've thoroughly—

«Two men who hate you, a useless frivolous woman, and a— I cannot emphasize this enough— a worm. A literal worm. A mindless creature that lives in the ground.»

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