Hello! We will be playing 3.5e DnD with a single level 1 character. The character will have a curse that causes everyone in a forty foot radius to be attracted to him/her and the NPCs will attempt to fuck our character at every turn. We must begin by creating a character. I’ll handle the brunt of it but I’ll need you all to fill in the cosmetic details that make this an actual character. I’ll pick the most popular options or I’ll just pick winners at random. We won’t use alignment because that would be silly for this sort of game.>Race >Class >Sex >Name >Backstory >Physical Description
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411624 The character also needs two primary attributes that it excels in
>Strength >Dexterity >Constitution >Intelligence >Wisdom >Charisma Anonymous
>>5411624 >Dwarf >Wizard >Male >Name : Urist Fonderferson >Backstory : Wizard apprentice cursed by an infamous wizard of that horrible rape-magic book school. Had to flee wizard-not-hogwart because too many Male powerful people there. Tries to reach any amazon land to turn the curse into a blessing. >Physical description : Young, small nose, huge blond beard and mustaches, blue robe Attributes :
>Intelligence (good for a wizard) >Constitution (Lasting longer... Concentrating spells of course) I want a chuby ugly plump typical-loser to be a chick magnet, with the unwanted bro-magnet part of the deal.
Anonymous
>>5411624 >Human >Barbarian >Female >Name: Astrid Flasher >Physical Description : Fair skinned amazonian, large breasts, blonde hair and dressed in open leather bikinis >excels in: Constitution and Charisma Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411636 +1, let's find our way to Amazonia
Anonymous
Gonna wait for one more person to break this tie.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411637 I vote for Snu Snu
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>5411636 +1
>Playing as a female for THIS quest Ishygddt
Tired of sharing this board with literal faggots
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411636 I love quests with ugly non-bastards.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411856 Coomers ruin everything, don't they?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>5411856 >>Playing as a female for THIS quest >Ishygddt > play as male > every male NPC wants to buttfuck us Who is the faggot again?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5412198 Not him but logically its gay either way fag
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411637 +1
A crown is warranted with strength!
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
I Am
>>5411636 Did QM bailed on our ugly dawi?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411637 +1
Don't let the BL win
Anonymous
Alright so I didn’t abandon ship. Yesterday I had to go to work when I thought I had the day off. I woke up a few hours ago and decided to take 120mg of THC. While I am eager to get the game rolling, I’m afraid I won’t have the mental faculties to run it for the next few hours.
Anonymous
>>5412787 give me boaners pls
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5412800 So far it's looking like the dwarf wins
Anonymous
A magical midget with no sex drive is swarmed by hot singles in his area
Anonymous
>>5413664 96% of scientist DON'T want you to know this 1 easy trick!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5413696 But first it's very important that you watch this instructional video for 19.99
Anonymous
I’ve decided I don’t care. Best of luck to you all.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5413929 >flakes after first choice You never cared.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:95kFjRhl Sun 25 Sep 2022 01:20:56 No. 5414802 Report >>5413929 Peace out, faggot.
*AHEM*
Welcome, Urist Fonderferson, to the rest of your life. You are a low value Dwarf Wizard male. You are a runaway from Pigsnorts School of Necromancy and Necrophilia. You thought you'd finally get some pussy there, even Undead pussy if need be. You were the only Dwarf on campus, the first in decades. Your clan considered you a holy omen for your incredible intelligence, with no deficit to your natural Dwarf hardiness. But you still couldn't get thrown a pity fuck at Pigsnorts, even from a walking corpse. This was due to the other wizards' advanced knowledge of sex juju magicks and long distance smell-casting. They always chose to make you smell like cabbage farts, and you never had a clue who was casting the vexing hexes.
Enraged by your involuntary celibacy, you fled into the wilds, hoping perhaps even a wood sprite or spriggan might suck you off, or stick a thumb inside your butthole. Still in your blue novitiate robes from Pigsnorts, you stick out like a sore thumb in the Summer landscape of the realm. You wipe snot from your tiny button nose straight into your dirty blonde dwarven mustache and beard, which you stopped braiding and maintaining.
You've only been in the wilderness for three days, but this place isn't like the wilderness back home. The woods outside of Pigsnorts are rife with hellish wildlife, murderous creations of amateur mages, and even criminal fugitive renegades.
All hope seems lost. You've been across this EXACT forest crossing a half dozen times before. The same boulder with the same moss next to the same brush... You haven't eaten since you left, unless you count those bugbear droppings you immediately scarfed after you came across them... Your stomach hasn't been the same since.
You briefly think of Dwarveim: home. All the citizens cheering you on for being accepted into Pigsnorts. Your family working overtime in the mines to provide you with your tuition. And, of course, you think of Meldma Smeltson, the girlfriend you left back home. You don't really give a shit about that frumpy prude, because she never put out. All you really care about is satiating your hunger... For snatch.
Just when you're about to give up and trace your steps back to Pigsnorts and then Dwarveim, a mystical being of the forest makes itself known, and changes your life forever.
The mystical being is:
>A mostly benevolent Desert Djinn, released from hell after finishing his imprisonment of a measly 7,777,777 years. (Wisdom, Charisma buffs) >A malformed Spleen Harvester demon accidentally summoned by another foolish novitiate. (Intelligence, Strength buffs) >The legendary King Stagghornn, a noble, gentle ungulate of the woods who has been here since time immemorial, guarding Pigsnorts since its inception (Dexterity, Constitution buffs) >A possessed naked Drug Powder™ addict, high out of his mind and filled with foreign spirits, speaking in many different tongues. (+1,000 gold) >? (write in, NO BUFFS) Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:95kFjRhl Sun 25 Sep 2022 01:52:50 No. 5414835 Report Quoted By:
>>5414802 >(write in, NO BUFFS) hahaha look at how I punish your potentially meek creativity
muhahaha I am CHAOTIC EVIL
Also here's a sexy D&D picture to remind you of where you are. (And no, I'm not going to start a new thread.)
Anonymous
>>5414802 >A mostly benevolent Desert Djinn, released from hell after finishing his imprisonment of a measly 7,777,777 years. (Wisdom, Charisma buffs) Well, youre not as retarded as the last guy i guess
Anonymous
>>5414802 >>A mostly benevolent Desert Djinn, released from hell after finishing his imprisonment of a measly 7,777,777 years. (Wisdom, Charisma buffs) Dear diary, Today I found on 4chan a cool anon that took a one-post flaker's QM mantle. I really wish I could buy that guy drinks. Anonymous
>>5414802 >The legendary King Stagghornn, a noble, gentle ungulate of the woods who has been here since time immemorial, guarding Pigsnorts since its inception (Dexterity, Constitution buffs) Come on guys we get better with our hands and last longer during.... disease.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5411624 >Human >Bard >Male >P. Ennis >Local villager kicked a wizard and cursed him with a giant penis >Ambiguous race, comically large penis Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:95kFjRhl Sun 25 Sep 2022 18:55:22 No. 5415401 Report Quoted By:
Continuing in a couple hours, voting still open.
Anonymous
>>5414802 >The legendary King Stagghornn, a noble, gentle ungulate of the woods who has been here since time immemorial, guarding Pigsnorts since its inception (Dexterity, Constitution buffs) Anonymous
Quoted By:
Rolled 2 (1d2) >>5415021 >>5414876 >>5415028 >>5415994 1 - Djinn (sends you to hell lmao)
2 - Stagghornn (shows you the Slit of Secrets inside of Pigsnorts)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:95kFjRhl Mon 26 Sep 2022 16:37:19 No. 5416350 Report Quoted By:
You've wandered circles in the forest for days while holding on to hope: the hope that you'll get fucking laid. But through all this wandering, there's been a surprising lack of... Life. Other than the bugbear droppings, you haven't seen any other sign of life in these woods. Man, what were you thinking, coming out here?
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:95kFjRhl Mon 26 Sep 2022 16:38:51 No. 5416352 Report "Oiii! What gives???" You feel powerless to cast magics, and your wand has been drained, or blocked from using its powers. Only then does the wooden door open.>Run!! Back to Pigsnorts! >Fight!! (Any low or mid level spells are welcome, but will fill up a slot once chosen. You can cast up to Lvl 3 spells right now.) >Attempt to fraternize with and make sweet love to the Bootyholder [DC: 19] >? (Write in)
Anonymous
>>5416352 >Attempt to fraternize with and make sweet love to the Bootyholder [DC: 19] >Use our spell "Charm Monster" we totally not learned for that kind of circumstances. Anonymous
>>5416388 Charm monster is 4th level
>Cast haste >fight Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/Es2LQfc Mon 26 Sep 2022 21:42:55 No. 5416714 Report >>5416388 Soon...
>>5416557 With your newfound girth, you decide to stand your ground and fight. You have just the spell for the occasion. To make up for lost time, you start weaving a Haste spell around yourself, allowing you to act twice as fast as you normally would. Your heart beats faster, and your loins recharge quicker. You'll be ready for another blast of goo soon, but not yet.
The beholder has fully recoiled from your previous spurt of goo. Upon closer inspection, you see that this creature is already severely scarred and mangled from it's apparently long life: the creature that was groping and making out with you appears to be an ancient aberration, forgotten, or perhaps sealed, within this tomb for ages. In it's prime, this creature would have easily devoured you; you're infinitely lucky that it's been crippled by age and previous battle.
Your mind races with ideas.
If you wanted to run, you could outpace that... Thing... With ease. It's still an option. In fact, you're not even sure it could fit through the door frame. But that leads you to wonder, how did it get down here? And what else is in this cavern? Is it guarding something?
Hmm...
Your hand moves to grip the Pigsnorts Ritual Dagger on your waste line, then over to your spell book. You're unsure of your next move, but King Stagghornn showed you this place for a reason. Maybe he called on you to defeat this creature?
It's time to continue writing your story, Urist Fonderferson. What is your next move?
Choose TWO actions.
Suggestions:
>Attack >Spell (Which? Lvl. 3 max for now) >Interact >"Interact" ;) >Flee (This quest will be very loosely based around numbers and actual rules since, uhhhh, I don't know the actual rules. But we can learn together as we go :o). )
DragonfagQM !2gxW5JDLSc
>>5416714 >Attack >Attack We're hasted thanks to a nice fella's recommandation so let's attack while we attack, so we can stab the thing while stabbing the thing.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/Es2LQfc Mon 26 Sep 2022 21:58:34 No. 5416744 Report Rolled 4, 5 + 1 = 10 (2d6 + 1) >>5416725 You firmly grip your dagger and steel yourself for your first battle since you were accosted by those Drow teenagers on your the journey to Pigsnorts many moons ago.
You once again cry "for House Stagghornn!", and lunge into battle...
You can't wait to tell all the jerks and hotties back on campus about this.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/Es2LQfc Mon 26 Sep 2022 22:13:08 No. 5416758 Report Rolled 2 (1d8) >>5416744 Dancing deftly around the aberration, you stick your dagger in a weak spot twice, with full power.
The Bootyholder flails and lets out a deep eldritch screech, a noise that nearly deafens you, on top of making your skin crawl. You gauge that the creature is probably around half HP.
Just as you are gauging things, the Bootyholder comes back with a rasping grasp, attempting to disarm you and rip you to shreds. You try to hastily scurry away, but there are too many tentacles, and this creature is rather dextrous for it's age and shape. You resist with all your might, trying not to be drawn and quartered in this dank dungeon.
(Disarm and damage on odd roll. Even roll just deals damage)
[As a level 6 wizard (starting here so we unlock lvl 4 spells next level) with high constitution and my arbitrary lack of regard for the rules, you have... 25 Max HP.]
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/Es2LQfc Mon 26 Sep 2022 22:29:17 No. 5416774 Report >>5416758 The creature fumbles for your dagger, but your grip is the iron grip of a Dwarf. It never had a chance. You resist being hugged into a slimy embrace a second time, and ready yourself to finish this combat. Your loins are still not ready to unleash another spurt, but you expect to be ready to "perform" again next round.
Staying aware, you look at the surrounding area, still lit up by your illumination cantrip. It has stone walls and a dirt floor just like the passage above. Rather than tiny, glowing iridescent mushrooms, the room is filled with large, dull offwhite mushrooms about the height and width of an adult Dwarf. In the corner, partially hidden by the shrooms, you see something large and shiny on the ground, but you can't decipher what it is from here.
Still benefitting from Haste, you appraise the combat situation. The perverse creature hurt you more in the dark, sucking your face (-5HP), than it did while in the light just now (-2HP). It's lost its advantage.
You feel confident in your ability to slay this beast!
What's next, Urist?
Choose TWO actions.
Suggestions:
>Attack >Spell (Which?) >Interact >? (Write in) (You have one more turn with Haste before it wears off, giving you a nasty debuff.)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5416774 >Attack >Interact tell the monster to surrender. Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Tue 27 Sep 2022 05:39:28 No. 5417132 Report The battle rages on. Crap, I just realized we could have had the Charm Monster spell imbued into the wand. I'll let you guys choose what the wand does, as well as continue choosing the other spells we already know. If they aren't sorted out soon, I'll throw in some ideas/options.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Tue 27 Sep 2022 05:41:10 No. 5417134 Report Rolled 12 (1d20) "C'mon, baby, I think we just got off on the wrong foot..." You wink at the Bootyholder, and your coconut-sized balls flush with liters of semen.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Tue 27 Sep 2022 05:49:48 No. 5417141 Report Rolled 6 + 1 (1d6 + 1) >>5417134 Success! Bootyholder has lost the will to fight, and voluntarily surrenders to you!
>>5417132 (There was supposed to be a 1d6+1 dice roll here, but we passed the Interact check so the Bootyholder is now neutral or perhaps an ally. Rolling for that now just in case.)
You gain 8,000 XP for succeeding in the encounter, as the Bootyholder is a very high level challenge. You are at 22000/23000XP, almost at level 7. (Starting off at level 6 puts you at 14000XP.)
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>5417141 >>5417134 Nice. I would be cool with Charm Monster being in our wand.
by the way what are our stats. right now our highest score is Int and Con. Int is important for a wizard because it decides how many spells we know.
Anonymous
>>5417152 >Ask the Bootyholder about it's lair, Treasure, about itself (especially her name), and why it was down here. >Make sure to reward her for her "Blessing" Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Tue 27 Sep 2022 06:31:38 No. 5417186 Report >>5417148 >>5417152 (I'll sus out the stats tomorrow, I'm turning in for the night right now. I wouldn't mind some help with the stats, if anyone can lend a hand. I think I got it, though. This won't be perfect by any stretch, as long as I'm DM'ing, but we will have a leetle fon.) >>5417156 The Bootyholder winks at you, but won't give in to any of your sexual advances. It's incredibly beat up, not really in the mood for sexy time, seeing as it's at 10% HP. (2/20)
Even with your wiener and balls ablaze with hot cum ready to spurt, and blood rushing through all the veins, cooler heads prevail, and you decide you don't want to fuck this ancient, decrepit rapist abomination after all. You're still not 100% certain what set of genitals it has, if any.
You keep an eye on the Bootyholder as it rests up, and you scan the room.
The giant mushrooms are an edible species you recognize from your Necromycology 102 class, good for restoring HP and fending off the Undead. Usually you only see samples in Pigsnorts in corked glass jars. You stock up your satchel with some decent chunks of the stuff for the hell of it.
You examine the shiny object you saw earlier, and find that it is an elaborate entrance to what appears to be a tomb. Though it is originally a golden, bejeweled setup, it's been roughly boarded up to prevent entry... Or escape.
You look back the way you came, through the wooden door with the passage back to Pigsnorts. Then you look to the opposite end of the cave. Behind the recovering Bootyholder is a narrow shaft with a whistling breeze passing through it, lined with lanterns that look like they haven't been lit in ages.
You ask the Bootyholder for information or instruction, still not entirely sure you can trust it. It seems to understand you, and goes into a very long, winding explanation of this area, and even tells you a little bit about its past and its upbringing. Too bad you don't speak Quevquel, so it just sounds like void-nails on a spirit-chalkboard to you. You have to scream at it to stop. You figure it'd be best not to ask it any more questions until you figure out how to translate. (You understood it earlier because you were under several of the Bootyholder's spells, including a magic blocking spell and an offensive hallucinatory spell, once you touched the door and entered the lair.)
What do you do now? Where do you go?
>Leave this crypt now, and go back to Pigsnorts to tell everyone what happened. >Investigate the windy shaft with the lanterns. >Investigate the boarded up shaft lined in gold. >Stay here and spend time with the Bootyholder before making your next move. Any other actions? [i.e., eat mushroom, give Bootyholder mushroom, attack Bootyholder, rape the Bootyholder (it's consensual rape, they raped you first), ask Bootyholder to cause you to hallucinate again and enter your mind, jerk off, etc.]
> Anonymous
>>5417186 >Sit on the ground and do nothing as we wait for the exhaustion from haste to wear off. >Eat Mushroom and then give some to B.H >allow them into our mind for communication purpose's >ask the Bootyholder to be our guide to any library or loot. Anonymous
Anonymous
Rolled 3, 2, 6, 1 = 12 (4d6) >>5417186 well we can use standard array (15,14,13,12,10,and 8), Point buy (27 points), or 4d6 (drop lowest) for each stat. we also have an ability score improvement that can be used for a +2, 2 plus 1's, or a feat.
I would go Mountain Dwarf for +2 strength and light/medium armour
Standard:
Str: 12+2=14 (+2)
Dex: 13 (+1)
Con: 14+2=16 (+3)
Int: 15 (+2)
Wis: 10 (0)
Cha: 8 (-1)
Point-buy (27):
Str: 8+2=10 (0)
Dex: 14 (+2)
Con: 14+2=16 (+3)
Int: 14 (+2)
Wis: 12 (+1)
Cha: 10 (0)
Roll: (in priority of best stat)
Str: (fifth)
Dex: (Third)
Con: (Second)
Int: (first)
Wis: (fourth)
Cha: (Sixth)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5417224 so this would be a 11 or a +0
Anonymous
Rolled 4, 1, 3, 2 = 10 (4d6) Rollin for Kokonut boy
Anonymous
Rolled 6, 2, 6, 1 = 15 (4d6) >>5417224 Triple 6
Anonymous
Rolled 6, 5, 4, 6 = 21 (4d6) You can do it, Urist
Anonymous
Rolled 5, 6, 4, 5 = 20 (4d6) >>5417601 can I get that triple six
Anonymous
Rolled 2, 1, 5, 5 = 13 (4d6) >>5417224 Blessed be RNGesus.
Anonymous
>>5417224 if you go for Roll's here is the stats:
Str: 11+2=13 (+1)
Dex: 14 (+2)
Con: 16+2= 18 (+4)
Int: 17 (+3)
Wis: 12 (+1)
Cha: 9 (-1)
Anonymous
>>5417224 11
>>5417247 9
>>5417601 14
>>5417608 17
>>5417643 16
>>5417645 12
so our array looks like...
Strength : 13(+1)
Dex : 14(+2)
Con : 18(+4)
Int : 17(+3)
Wis : 12(+2)
Char : 9(-1)
Anonymous
>>5417651 Yeah and we just have to decide how to spend our ability score improvement.
Anonymous
>>5417671 Also, that isn't factoring in King Stagghorn Dexterity + Constitution buff
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Wed 28 Sep 2022 02:04:59 No. 5418096 Report >>5417650 >>5417651 >>5417671 >>5417716 (Thanks all, been at work, but will do my best to get an update or a few out later)
(Also, based RNGesus)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5417716 I think we should either go for Linguist for a +1 to Int making it a +4 and 3 languages (I would say Infernal, Under common, and Draconic or Primordial)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5418096 Filing out a character sheet for Urist. what's his alignment (my guess is Chaotic neutral) and background (sage)
I think we should go for lucky because sage gives us to 2 languages.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5418096 we rolling for health or taking average (8 per level) so we have 50 HP
Anonymous
>>5418096 here. let me know if I got anything wrong.
Anonymous
>>5418195 Yeah, you took necro over Scribe
Anonymous
>>5418332 we went to the Pigsnorts School of Necromancy and Necrophilia. School of necromancy made a lot more sense.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Wed 28 Sep 2022 15:21:24 No. 5418600 Report >>5418332 >>5418374 I must admit I'm thoroughly lost, and flattered, so I'll be watching a lot of videos/reading a lot of guides on how to do this, so I'm not fudging everything up. For the meantime, we're out of combat and doing some exploring, I think I can handle that.
---
As you harvest some Great White Mushroom, your body starts slowing down to regular speed, as does your mental processes, leaving you in a debilitating brain fog. With the Bootyholder still recovering, and seemingly not hostile anymore, you feel in no hurry to run down the lantern shaft, the gilded shaft, or the return shaft to the surface. You think you'll just lie down on this pillowy mushroom... And... Catch a... Quick rest... Right... Here................For just a se-.........zzzzzzzzzzz.........................
...
Ş̷͇͛h̷̳̜̔̀k̸̼̹̚l̴̜̊ǘ̴̺̮r̸͙͊̓p̴̳̈́͝*̸̳̊͐
̵̼͐*̵͍̂S̵̜̯̃̓ ̵̰͐L̸̗̩̈ ̵̥͍̀̾U̶̼̍ ̵̮͌̕ͅR̵͖̦̚ ̵͍̝̀P̸͎̭̄̿*̵̼̦̑
̶̩͉͐*̸̥̈́s̵̤̩̊ ̴̻̒h̵̯̜͒ ̵̹͕̀l̶͍͘ ̵̓u̷͕̍ ̶̌ř̵̼ ̴̜̍p̶͚͎͋̎ ̵͔̉̍p̸̼͠*̴̴͖͖̽̽
!
!!
!!!
"Oi, that tickles!" You awake to the Bootyholder, nibbling at the Great White Mushroom chunks in your satchel, and scraping you with its oddly smooth tongue.
You fell asleep down here?!?! You're lucky this aberration is feeling playful and not vengeful! You decide, as a show of good faith, to share a meal of mushroom with the creature you defeated earlier.
You were honestly thinking you were about to get laid and finally lose your virginity after all this time. You were so ready to tell everyone at Pigsnorts about it, too. Maybe you'll embellish something. (Darko Foymalf, the Drow captain for House Blystertyt's Ditchquid team, probably won't believe you.)
With the knowledge that Bootyholder comprehends you, but cannot speak to you without harming your sanity, you begin wondering if there's another way... "Hey, uh... Thing..."
The Bootyholder directs its attention to you, but seems a little irked.
"Sorry, I don't know what to call you. I was thinking, though. It seems like when I was under your spell earlier, you were speaking to me in Common, and I did understand you. If you promise not to assault me again, sexually or otherwise... I'd like to know your name, friend. I'd also like to know if you are imprisoned or entombed in this cave, as it seems you cannot return to the surface. Perhaps we can work together, to both of our benefit?"
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Wed 28 Sep 2022 15:22:52 No. 5418601 Report Hours of mind manipulation, sexual assault and broken promises later, you finally come out of the hallucination, drenched in some viscous, foreign fluid. You're disgusted, and shivering cold (and that's saying something for a hearty Dwarf like yourself), but you've got a newfound understanding of the monster. Its name is Qibbi, and thank the fucking stars: it's a she. Qibbi was summoned here from an ethereal plane where she wandered aimlessly, but happily, for millennia. She has never seen the surface of this world, but she longs to.>Have Qibbi take you through the lantern passage to the mining chamber. >Tell Qibbi you've got to retrace your steps and head back to the surface, and Pigsnorts, but you'll come back for her, promise! (Truth? Lie?) >Pry open the wood over the gilded passage and descend into it. Tell Qibbi to watch the entrance. >Murderhobo time, you have an urge to kill then rape Qibbi. >? (Write-in)
Anonymous
>>5418601 >>Have Qibbi take you through the lantern passage to the mining chamber. What's behind the door?
Anonymous
>>5418601 >Have Qibbi take you through the lantern passage to the mining chamber. Possible magic loot, good thing we have identify.
Anonymous
Wait wait wait.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Wed 28 Sep 2022 16:40:32 No. 5418678 Report Quoted By:
Rolled 2, 4 = 6 (2d4) >>5418655 >>5418611 Another door, huh? You wonder where it could lead... You've got to find out.
1 Just a small supply closet full of rust-consumed equipment. Literally nothing of value. Except, wait, what's that in the corner? It's a clue! Jinkies!
2 Secret passageway to the girl's bathroom in House Hussiepuss at Pigsnorts.
3 Secret passageway to the girl's bathroom in the House Hussiepuss at Pigsnorts.
4 It leads to a forgotten mine filled with the skeletal remains of a miner, and tons and tons of truemetal - what others call mithral.
But first, did someone say... ORE AND CRYSTAL? Like any other healthy Dwarf would, you frantically insist that Qibbi take you to inspect the quarry, stat!
1 Nothing but rubble and junk rocks
2 Nothing but rubble and junk rocks
3 You find an eons-old, magically imbued, Dwarven pickaxe!
4 Just as you're about to give up, you find a Gem of Life!
(Writing)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:EKiBOHiL Wed 28 Sep 2022 16:41:58 No. 5418680 Report Quoted By:
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5418670 Woops wrong thread
Anonymous
>>5418600 we're taking about what Wizard subclass we are. A wizard can pick a subclass at level 2 and if gives you bonuses as you level up. it's giving us Necromancy Savant, Grim Harvest, Undead Thralls.
http://dnd5e.wikidot.com/wizard:necromancy by the way can we talk to Qibbi in undercommon. normal Beholders know that and Deep Speech
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Thu 29 Sep 2022 02:23:12 No. 5419134 Report >>5418885 Sorry, and thank you for the correction. I knew I'd be getting things wrong. Bear with me while I read up a bit more on Urist's (and Qibbi's) abilities and background. I'll still try to get an update out within the next 24h.
Anonymous
>>5419134 you didn't get anything wrong. As the QM/DM you could just say that Qibbi as a Bootyholder doesn't know Undercommon and besides we just finished creating our character sheet (so before then we didn't know undercommon)
>by the way can we talk to Qibbi in undercommon. normal Beholders know that and Deep Speech It was meant as a question and as a QM/DM you have the final say. so far your doing pretty well for someone who hasn't played DnD and suddenly took over for flaky DM
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Thu 29 Sep 2022 02:40:03 No. 5419162 Report >>5419145 We'll go with "Bootyholders don't speak Undercommon"
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5419162 and that is fair.
Anonymous
Not that I give half a shit, but isn't this a blue board?
Anonymous
>>5420594 Damn did you get QM banned?
Anonymous
>>5420682 I didn't narc, I'm just saying.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5420705 That's exactly what a narc would say
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Sat 01 Oct 2022 04:57:12 No. 5421121 Report Still here, in fact I wrote a paragraph about how I was going to be updating soon! also wrote some other shit about the state of the board but blegh, whatever, looks like it got deleted instead of getting posted, probably an error on my part. I plan on definitely posting within the next 14 hours, hopefully more like 2.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5421121 this taste like honey to my ears
Anonymous
Quoted By:
As you walk down the lane of lame lanterns, led by your new aberrant friend Qibbi, you... Smell something... Something you didn't smell before, thanks to all of Qibbi's mind tricks and pungent fluids...Or are you just happy to see me? ;)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
You're now much more aware of Qibbi watching you. You figure she thinks you're an idiot, that you're wasting your time. Don't you want to explore beyond this musty old shaft? haha get it? Mining? Deep? Rocks? Groundbreaking? Ahh, I spoil you guys. I hope you are all ROCK HARD. (Your spirits, not your dicks.) Okay, back to the story, sorry. you see a glimmer. You try focusing on it, but whatever it was, it's gone dull from this angle. You cock your head around like an itchy wyvern, trying to find an angle where the object will glimmer again.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
You instantly feel the burdensome weight of this two ounce gem. The power of life over death; the power of life after death. But if you break it, the gem also contains the potential to irreparably change your life as you know it.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Sat 01 Oct 2022 17:38:25 No. 5421574 Report "You'll never guess... Darko Foymalf!!!">Cut a quick glory hole in the stall and launch your magnum dong through the other side for Birgetta the Human to nibble on >Go after Joolala the half-Orc, walk right up to her while she's doing her hair, and stick your massive cock right up her bum >Join Tiffanil near the tub, sneak up to her and start rubbing her shoulders and sniffing her hair, licking her neck and ears, groping her flesh-and-milk bags >Announce your presence and make a grand entrance, angle your way towards a foursome with these stunning babes (and the half-Orc too) >Do a drive-by one-Dwarf bukkake and launch a significant load at all three of these Hussiepusses, then jet >Wait until the bathroom is empty and covertly infiltrate Pigsnorts until you find your way back to your dormitory in House Stagghornn, like nothing happened >? (Write-in)
Anonymous
>>5421574 >>Do a drive-by one-Dwarf bukkake and launch a significant load at all three of these Hussiepusses, then jet That or bleaching the Drow with Urist' kokonuts.
Anonymous
>>5421574 >Cut a quick glory hole in the stall and launch your magnum dong through the other side for Birgetta the Human to nibble on Anonymous
>>5421574 >Wait until the bathroom is empty and covertly infiltrate Pigsnorts until you find your way back to your dormitory in House Stagghornn, like nothing happened Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:7YEdeROd Sun 02 Oct 2022 03:17:16 No. 5422123 Report >>5421579 >>5421736 >>5421787 Thank you for your votes, friends. Leaving this open for another ~12-24 hours. Tiebreaker roll if needed.
Anonymous
Rolled 1 (1d3) >>5422123 here's your tie breaker
1 drive-by one-Dwarf bukkake
2 Cut a quick glory hole
3 Wait until the bathroom is empty and covertly infiltrate Pigsnorts
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Mon 03 Oct 2022 05:05:02 No. 5423162 Report >>5423132 That's the one I think I really wanted anyway lol
I'm unexpectedly really busy with work and home life. I'll try to update tomorrow, but it may be an extra day or two.
Also still trying to learn more about DnD/DM'ing still, does anyone have any recommendations on a crash course or starting point?
Anonymous
>>5423162 The most important thing is to have fun. Make your own shit up based on assumptions and a glance at monster manual, and player will interpret things as "I quite like how QM is approaching this setting, it's similar enough I fell like I understand it, but has enough differences to feel fresh and mysterious"
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5423168 don't be afraid to bend some rule's for rule of cool or to move the story along.
while it's good to plan ahead player can be unpredictable so instead of clinging on for dear life to your plan or being railroady be willing to go with the flow.
Anonymous
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:TlBe10ef Wed 05 Oct 2022 14:47:33 No. 5425200 Report >>5425151 Yep, just getting shat on by work and chores around the house (I'm in the process of moving right now, and hooooly fuuuuck did I underestimate how much work was left to be done. Computer/wires are also packed up so I'm stuck to phoneposting which makes me write slower.) But I should be able to return to a post every day or two now. I've got plenty of time this morning to write an update, and the vague shape of this particular update has been on my mind for a while.
Bukkake cumming soon!
https://youtu.be/TOO7tQ_t3qA Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5425200 Yeah, life can get hard. Do your best mate
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Wed 05 Oct 2022 16:21:23 No. 5425273 Report Creeping on the two hotties from House Hussiepuss (and the half-Orc Joolala), you find yourself completely aroused. All the brilliant thoughts in your mind slip away as blood circulates away from your brain and into your growing erection... Losing all... Politeness... Decorum... Common sense... And critical thinking abilities... Must... COOOOM!!!!
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Wed 05 Oct 2022 16:22:58 No. 5425274 Report Carefully and quietly entering the bathroom stall through the hidden door, you successfully infiltrate House Hussiepuss's women's bathroom without a hitch. But how will you get out of this stall and back to your dorm now? You'll figure that out later. For now, you can see all three bathing Hussiepusses through the crack of the stall.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Wed 05 Oct 2022 16:24:00 No. 5425275 Report Birgetta begins to react by raising a wand she was keeping hidden, and mumbling an incantation! Fearful of a Fireball coming your way, you aim at her wand, and end up blasting her entire hand off. Birgetta cries in agony. Unable to control your flow, and only with about a gallon of goo left in the tank, you decide to finish this horrendous deed by disintegrating what's left of Birgetta with it. When you're done, she's just meaty chunks of viscera floating in the tub, and nothing else.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Wed 05 Oct 2022 16:25:21 No. 5425276 Report Going back through where you came and circling back to Pigsnorts the long way would take over half a day! You decide to keep it cool and act natural, and just walk through House Hussiepuss back to House Stagghornn, where your class is at. It was a good strategy until your frumpy human female friend, Myhernee, notices you bumbling about in the halls. "Hi, Urist! Say, what are you doing in House Hussiepuss?" She greets you with glee, then a puzzled look and a question. She then looks down and notices your black hands, and then your massive pud jammed in your trousers. You now have a permanent giant bulge in your pants. Great, as if being the only Dwarf on campus didn't make you stick out enough already. >Basics of Necrophilia with Professor Zneip >Ethics of Sexual Levitation with Professor Mumblemoor >Mister Riddhagg, the on-campus hermit and groundskeeper, wants to teach you one-on-one how to tame and breed Oozes, in an informal class he calls Oozomancy 101 >? (Write-in) >Yes, immediately. You'll look a little battered and dusty, but at least you'll be on time! >Yes, but only after showering up and changing clothes. Better late than never, and appearance is everything. >No, school sucks, I want to do other things today. (Optional: What would you like to do instead?)
Anonymous
>>5425276 Wasn't ready to pack a litteral WMD in my pants. We need to fix that. It's useful, but I don't want to kill our next cuties
>Basics of Necrophilia with Professor Zneip Professor Zneip, the world-renowned inventor of Necrophilomancy?
I don't know what a necrophilomancian does, but it doesn't sound like a nice guy >>Yes, but only after showering up and changing clothes. Better late than never, and appearance is everything. Anonymous
>>5425276 >Mister Riddhagg, the on-campus hermit and groundskeeper, wants to teach you one-on-one how to tame and breed Oozes, in an informal class he calls Oozomancy 101 >Yes, immediately. You'll look a little battered and dusty, but at least you'll be on time! Anonymous
>>5425574 changing to
>Yes, but only after showering up and changing clothes. Better late than never, and appearance is everything. I imagine having sex with a slime girl won't cause them to die like those girls. we may be stuck with Qibbi and slime girls until we fix that.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Thu 06 Oct 2022 03:27:39 No. 5425887 Report Rolled 2 (1d2) >>5425341 >>5425791 Indeed, sex with normal girls will be difficult right now...
1. Perhaps you can entrap some lewd slime girls with Riddhagg, or even have him inspect the ooze you produce inside, and have him show you how to alter its properties.
2. Or maybe you'll learn something worthwhile from Professor Cerberus Zneip's class on necrophilia, like how to bring back a dead loved one as a soulless Husk, or construct a sexy Bone Devil that can withstand a full-power Cum Ray.
(Rolling)
Either way, you decide to tidy up before class, even if it'll make you a tad late!
(Update in 3-18 hours hopefully)
Anonymous
>>5425887 I wonder if I'll ever win a tie breaker.
by the way what are our other periods.
Anonymous
Damn; i would had choosen Riddhagg if I wasn't a brainlet and thought he could help us alter ooze. (Am
>>5425341 )
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Thu 06 Oct 2022 06:04:40 No. 5425972 Report Rolled 4, 10, 2, 10 = 26 (4d10) >>5425916 Good question...
1st period = first roll
2nd period = second roll
3rd period = third roll
Mulligan = fourth roll (only used for replacing a duplicate roll)
1 Riddhagg's Oozomancy 101
2 Mumblemoor's Ethics of Sexual Levitation
3 You are Mumblemoor's new aide in his Advanced Necrophilia class.
4 Zneip's Defense Against The Dark Sharts
5 Lupus Penus's Drugs, Deliriants and Dosages
6 Lupus Penus's Poxes, Puses and Pandemics
7 Moldyvore's History of Necrophilia
8 Moldyvore's Underwater Necromaintenance
9 the "Dwarves Suck Class" you attend alone, as instructed by Darko Foymalf's father, who is a professor here but refuses to teach Dwarves anything about necromancy OR necrophilia. You weren't allowed into his Significant Smells and Scents of the Grave class, and were sent instead into this witch's broom closet.
10 Riddhagg's Wyvern Taming Class
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Thu 06 Oct 2022 06:07:40 No. 5425975 Report >>5425972 >>5425965 >>5425916 Double 10's have spoken
If you like, you can swap Wyvern Taming for Oozomancy 101 for 2nd period.
(Other classes are locked in.)
(No update tonight, hopefully tomorrow around noon.)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5425975 don't worry about update rhythm, you already delivered today.
Alright Tiebreak-loser anon, I'll give you my support whatever you choose regarding wyvern taming as somehow all my choices are the one rolled, and you have good input. So should we swap Wyvern taming to oozomancy to fix our killer blast?
Anonymous
>>5425972 Since oozomancy 101 is informal and not an actual class would it be possible to do during lunch or even after class.
>If not then replace wyvern taming for oozomancy 101. Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5426162 As promised,
>Support Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Fri 07 Oct 2022 18:58:24 No. 5427102 Report (Writing, about halfway done but taking a break. Update incoming soon.)
Anonymous
>>5427102 Zneip...Snape.
please tell me were not his Neville.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Fri 07 Oct 2022 22:20:55 No. 5427246 Report >>5427162 Funny you should say that, with what I have written so far. I'll leave an air of suspense hanging about, until I post the actual update.
Fair warning though, I know about as much about Harry Potter as I do about DnD.
Anonymous
>>5427246 for the record a Boggart (a shapeshifter that changes into your greatest fear) changed into Snape to scare Neville.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Mon 10 Oct 2022 04:19:05 No. 5429499 Report >>5427392 Useful info which may or may not worm its way in to our story
Update is coming, I just keep getting called in to work on my days off lol. And I'm in the process of moving so I'm a wee busy. Expect something by Tuesday night for sure, update is already about half written.
Anonymous
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/eVLN8EI Tue 11 Oct 2022 07:38:31 No. 5430576 Report Quoted By:
>>5425273 >>5425274 >>5425275 >>5425276 Being called out by Professor Zneip in front of the whole class for being late will be less humiliating than being called out for being a sweaty, dirty, little man. You make the civilized choice.
You wish you could savor this shower, and process what just happened in House Hussiepuss. Those poor girls... Missing a class isn't an option, though.
Even in a rush, you're 25 minutes late to class. You left your dorm room in fresh clothes with a clean body, but still with a matted and wild looking beard. When you get to class, Zneip is talking about why it's important to "not be a fool, and wrap your alchemical tool". He makes eye contact with you on your way in while saying this, and makes an indifferent or disgusted look, but doesn't address you, and allows you to take your seat.
Your assigned seat in this class is right next to Villnev Shortfront, a bumbling Halfling flunkee who stays in Pigsnorts only by the grace of his family's prestigious name, and deep-as-fuck pockets. He's fighting the urge to fall asleep, posting his head on his elbow on the desk, snot bubble puffing up and down. He's about to lose the fight against slumber.
"Alright, class, everybody take out your necrotized manuscripts and turn to page 667." Alan Rickman... I mean, Cerberus Zneip doesn't sound very enthused that he's teaching the remedial class early in the morning. Zneip sips manglemane tea and continues his lesson.
You and the other 11 students in the small class produce a book and flip to the specified page. All except your desk mate, Villnev. Cerberus Zneip slowly walks up to him. The class looks on with anticipation, even you are a little scared.
You're a teenaged Dwarf, barely able to hide your prohibitively large hog under the desk. You don't recognize anybody in this class other than by their patches on their uniforms. 7 Blystertyts, 3 Ravencocks, and then there's Villnev, the only other Stagghornn in the class. Zneip was a Ravencock himself, and shows clear preference to their house in his instruction. Zneip is now lording over the diminutive Shortfront.
You, being a Dwarf, and Villnev, being a Halfling, are the two shortest, plumpest people in class, both sitting at the same table, both the only Stagghornns in sight. The rest of the class are tall, slender Humans, Drow, and one Catman in Blystertyt. Zneip is himself a Drow, slender and tall. He has a deep, piercing voice when he shouts: "SHORTFRONT!"
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/eVLN8EI Tue 11 Oct 2022 07:39:34 No. 5430577 Report Villnev startles awake and slips out of this chair, crashing on to the ground, to the applause and laughter of everyone but you and Zerberus Zneip. "Yes, Professor?" Villnev surprisingly answers.
"You ARE paying attention, aren't you?"
"Of course, Professor!"
"Then you can tell me the answer to last night's homework. How many nightberries go in a Death Smoothie, provided they've been whipped and cooled them overnight?"
Shortfront blanks out, and can't think of an answer. He says three and a half.
"Incorrect. A shame. Young Fonderferson, perhaps you know? If neither of you can answer, I'll be forced to deduct points from House Stagghornn. How many nightberries is it, young Fonderferson?"
>>>>>>>>Roll 2d20!!!!! >First Check! (DC: 12. Best of all rolls.)
>>5418195 Nature: +3 to roll! (Thanks once again for the chart!)
...
After zero period is over, you have a moment to sit under a fyffxop tree and enjoy its shade for a moment. You've decided you must control this cum cannon in your pants if you ever want to have a normal sexual encounter ever again... Do you? ...Either way, can't get found out for those murders, you didn't even mean to...
And another thing, what of Qibbi?
Also, what of your education here, how will you return to Dwarveim if you don't learn what you need in order to help your homeland?
While deep in thought, Myhernee spots you and joins you under the fyffxop trees just as you are standing up to greet her.
"Ready for Defence Against The Dark Sharts, Urist?"
"Not really. One class with Professor Zneip per day is enough, I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment!" You rub your belly as you say glutton, as a sort of joke. This causes Myhernee's eyes to be directed to your waistline, where her eyes bulge nearly out of socket as she notices your massive soft cock, currently coiled up in your trousers, like a pit viper or fire hose.
"Uh..." Myhernee stutters as the bell sounds throughout campus once again. "Well, I suppose we should be getting to class!" Myhernee is a Stagghornn just like you, even though she has several friends in Hussiepuss. You've overheard Hussiepusses saying that she was too ugly to join their house, that's why she's a Stagghornn. You don't think she's ugly... Just the dictionary reference picture for the word "frumpy". She's got frump written all over her, even for a fit, young, Human female. Despite that frumpiness, she's really nice and smart, and was one of the only people to be decent to you since you arrived at Pigsnorts.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:/eVLN8EI Tue 11 Oct 2022 07:41:18 No. 5430579 Report In minutes, you are seated in class for first period. This class is much larger; both the lecture hall, and the class size. There's at least a dozen students from each House represented here in this class, with a significantly large representation of Ravencocks.>Second check! >>>>>>>>Don't forget to roll 2d20!! >Myhernee, your redheaded frumpy human Stagghornn friend who is rather adept at magic. She's your age. >Donald Skreazly, your goofy Stagghornn Halfling homeboy. This nigga is tight, yo. He's got your back no matter what, you feel. He's 18, just one year younger than you. >Darko Foymalf, a Blystertyt Drow you more or less consider your enemy. He's so popular and he always makes fun of you for being a Dwarf... He's three years older than you. >Millie Murderface, a House Hussiepuss girl you happened to know in Kentucky, before you came out to Pigsnorts. It was surprising to find out she was a witch, just like you were a wizard. She is also three years older than you, in Darko's class. She's known for having an interest in recreationally flying brooms and playing Ditchquid, she's very athletic. >Write-in
Anonymous
Rolled 3 (1d20) >>5430577 I'll go with 2 anon rolling 1d20, best of two system?
Anonymous
Rolled 18 (1d20) >>5430579 Second roll for dark shart. Will choose conversation based on roll results.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Tue 11 Oct 2022 08:04:04 No. 5430592 Report Quoted By:
>>5430584 Knowledge check looking grim
>>5430586 Fart concealment looking great
Leaving the rolls open for ~24 hours. If we can beat 18 on the second slot, we'll unlock something special.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Help me, tiebreak-losing anon. You're my only hope.
Anonymous
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3) >>5430579 here is the nature check.
Anonymous
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3) >>5430579 by the way did we get the Dexterity and Constitution buffs from the legendary King Stagghornn or do we still need to go through the blocked door.
second roll here.
>Myhernee, your redheaded frumpy human Stagghornn friend who is rather adept at magic. She's your age. ask her how her day's been and her favorite class. lead the conversation into if she knows anything about curse's.
Anonymous
>>5430878 Well play, anon!
Did the +1 and +2 DEX allows the 18 to get us something nice?
Here's my input
>Interact with Darko Foymalf Use our darkest shart mastery to sneakily gas him
>then, supportin' Myhernee "It suddenly got big. Help me. It's dangerous. I made a inch-sized hole in stones by mistake"
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Tue 11 Oct 2022 18:07:47 No. 5430909 Report Nice rolling
>>5430893 Yes, we got those buffs, forgot to confirm that/update the stats (I am still very poor at this, sorry)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Tue 11 Oct 2022 18:12:41 No. 5430911 Report Quoted By:
>>5430906 And factoring in the bonuses, we'll say the "something special" has been unlocked.
Continuing tonight or tomorrow morning with results of the rolls, pranking Darko Foymalf in front of the class, and pleading with Myhernee for help.
Anonymous
>>5430909 so is it a plus 1 to the stats (putting Dex to 15 (+2) and Con to 19 (still plus +4)) or is it something else.
are we doing best of 3 or best of 2 system.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Tue 11 Oct 2022 19:06:13 No. 5430952 Report >>5430913 Yes, +1's (was originally going to be +2's but I realize now that's a bit much)
And for now it's just a best of all rolls. Subject to change later. Open to heading your thoughts.
Got a good chunk of writing done already, might be able to drop tonight.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:qh3+z7Tp Tue 11 Oct 2022 19:08:15 No. 5430955 Report Quoted By:
>>5430952 Hearing* not heading
Anonymous
>>5430952 Best of all rolls is a good system.
However, regarding our character sheet, feel free to crank up the "normal" DC
It can be around 14, and we'll succeed 50% of the time in the skills we're strong, less in the skills we suck. And that's not even taking in account the best-of system. For player engagement, you can allow for now as much roll as players. Feel free to make new IP (like mine, as a filthy often-phoneposter) to backlink to other IP for rolls, that'll avoid scams
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5430952 personally I would go with either first roll (since we have lucky and can get 3 reroll per long rest for attack rolls, an ability checks, or saving throws)
or a best of 3 system with a nat 1 being an instant fail and only being countered by a nat 20 (or lucky). I've also seen a nat 1 used to knock out the top roll (unless it is a 20) forcing players to use the "middle" roll (Eg using a 9 when the rolls are 1, 9, 18 or 12, 1, 9). a nat 20 is a instant (and often times critical) success.
Tiebreak Loser
>>5430984 I don't think we'll have to worry about "scams" because their is like only 3 of us playing. I'll just use a name.
Pineapple
Quoted By:
>>5430993 Good call.
Plus, I'm pushing for quest-contained namefagging Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:I3TsDgOs Thu 13 Oct 2022 01:10:43 No. 5432433 Report Quoted By:
(+900 XP!)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:I3TsDgOs Thu 13 Oct 2022 01:12:09 No. 5432434 Report Quoted By:
You're sure Mister Riddhagg will have some solutions for your penis next period, and you can't wait to see him. But that class is over an hour away, and having this cursed phallus is driving you crazy! Especially when you start to get a boner and the blood rushes out of your brain and into your freakishly large vas deferens... Like right now!-oh. Nevermind, false alarm, just a half-chub, but it went back to sleep.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:I3TsDgOs Thu 13 Oct 2022 01:13:21 No. 5432435 Report Myhernee gets the memorandum. "Um, Professor? Urist isn't feeling well, I'm going to take him to the Matron in the hospital wing.">Talk with Myhernee in private about your genitalia >Invite Donald into the conversation, he could have valuable insights >Write-in >No one, yet. >Myhernee >Donald Skreazly >Riddhagg >Mumblemoor >Zneip >All of Pigsnorts >Other (Write-in) >Eat in the cafeteria >Talk with someone on campus >Play with yourself to relieve some stress >Play another prank on Darko >Train your magical prowess against Miniature Gigantic Spiders in the nearby Fourbitten Forest before class >Write-in
Anonymous
>>5432435 >Talk with Myhernee in private about your genitalia >Myhernee >Donald Skreazly trust the squad.
>Train your magical prowess against Miniature Gigantic Spiders in the nearby Fourbitten Forest before class. also use it as an opportunity to lease some stress with our "Weapon" and maybe kills some beast. >Eat in the cafeteria Pineapple
>>5432435 >>Invite Donald into the conversation, he could have valuable insights
>Myhernee >Donald Skreazly >Train your magical prowess against Miniature Gigantic Spiders in the nearby Fourbitten Forest before class. also use it as an opportunity to lease some stress with our "Weapon" and maybe kills some beast. >Eat in the cafeteria (especially pineapple) Anonymous
Rolled 2 (1d2) >>5432445 >>5432819 Now for the moment of truth
1 - Tiebreak loser (Private talk with Myhernee)
2 - Piña (Include Donald Skreazly in the conversation)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:omHbw40A Thu 13 Oct 2022 22:43:50 No. 5433185 Report >>5433179 ay lmao
Few more updates then I'm taking a break in order to run my other quest I promised my players I would run at about this time. I will come back in another month or so with a fresh thread for this, hopefully with more DnD knowledge and some renewed interest, it seems like we had a lot of interested people at the beginning of the thread. Though, we have shifted a tad bit from what was promised. Oh well. I have loads of ideas where we could take this story from here, eager to see how it all plays out. Thanks for playing guys, you make this fun!
Next update coming likely Friday, Saturday or Sunday at the latest.
Tiebreak Loser
Quoted By:
>>5433179 I seems like I'm living up to my name.
Tiebreak Loser
>>5433185 what over quest do you run.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:omHbw40A Fri 14 Oct 2022 00:09:35 No. 5433263 Report >>5433252 Among others,
You Are A Craigslist Killer .
Luker !.RqfH3sXDg
>>5432445 +1
I am a sheep in wolf's clothing
Tiebreak Loser
Pineapple
>>5433265 Well play, lurker.
Now let's hope Myhernee won't try to relieve pressure and get her head blown Luker !.RqfH3sXDg
>>5433559 We can only hope that the dice gods have mercy on our sins
Anonymous
>>5433263 Huh, hello there Fae! I was wondering where you went, hadn't seen any of your usual quests pop up in a while!
Tiebreak Loser
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:Sf62Zuxz Tue 18 Oct 2022 07:56:19 No. 5436990 Report >>5436839 I was debating writing this update earlier, but decided against it. I guess you lost another tiebreak without even realizing it
Just been busy the last few days, but I've finally got some time to write now!
Pineapple
Quoted By:
>>5436839 >>5436990 Fate is a cruel mistress
Tiebreak Loser
>>5436990 What about the lurker who voted with me? Or am I truly cursed?
Fae Smelter !!xOmJx180n/v
Fae Smelter !!xOmJx180n/v ID:0mjP5fc8 Tue 18 Oct 2022 17:39:20 No. 5437221 Report Quoted By:
>>5437193 >>5433662 Luker has indeed saved you
>>5433840 Also, hi
Luker !.RqfH3sXDg
Quoted By:
>>5437193 I am no stranger to mercy
Anonymous
>>5433263 You promised that the quest would come back in October!
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:iPgZ1l68 Thu 20 Oct 2022 02:03:12 No. 5438599 Report For some reason I keep agreeing to come in to work on nearly every single day off I have. Oh yeah, because I'm fucking poor. Anyway, I'm gonna get drunk as fuck tonight and try to shlam this update out still. Expect 2-3 more updates before thread closes. Next thread will be called something new, most likely. Probably something with Urist Fonderferson in the title. I'm still wanting to learn more about DnD stuff (I know it says 3.5e in thread title, but I've been mostly looking at 5e sources). I want to give us a level up before we start the new thread, especially since we're right on the cusp.
>>5438250 I still have time! I didn't forget! I'm also flattered that you remembered!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5438599 Try fucking rich people, they have more money. Sounds like a better career plan than prostitution towards poor people.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:XdphDR+b Sat 22 Oct 2022 22:05:11 No. 5440931 Report Really disappointed with myself for not getting the update out yet. Sorry, fellas. It's coming.
Tiebreak Loser
Quoted By:
>>5440931 I'll check back tonight before I go to bed.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5440931 It's okay, real life can be hard.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:NpfXukU+ Mon 24 Oct 2022 23:44:18 No. 5442487 Report Rolled 5, 15 = 20 (2d20) Perception checks to detect Miniature Gigantic Spiders >DC: 14
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Rolled 3, 3 + 1 = 7 (2d20 + 1) >>5442487 here both rolls.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5442487 unless you were talking about just your roll.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 13:51:28 No. 5443875 Report Rolled 1 (1d1) (Apologies for the massive wait.)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 13:53:33 No. 5443876 Report "Oh, yeah, Urist, give me that Dwarf cum!!!!" Myhernee is directly in front of your peehole, which is now widened enough so that you could comfortably slide an envelope inside!
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 13:55:32 No. 5443878 Report After Urist had eaten 3 full smoked hams by himself, he delved into his recent debacles and debauchery with his good friend Donald, everything he told Myhernee, again avoiding telling Donald all the gory bits in the girl's bathroom. I'll get his stats/sheet sorted out soon, unless one of you really feels like doing it. I still don't have a desktop so I'm updating from my phone. I'm still not sure what to do to determine Donald's stats. Not sure what his abilities/skills/spells are but let's just have him be a standard-ish Cleric but with few or no offensive spells. If we don't flesh him all the way out, we'll just copycat Urist's stats/HP for Donald for this combat and spitball his abilities. Sorry for phoning it in on this part, I still have much to learn and not much time to learn it presently.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 14:01:54 No. 5443883 Report You quickly get lost and find that venturing further into the Fourbitten Forest was a mistake. Riddhagg warned you about going in this deep without him, and now you see why. You find yourself completely surrounded by fine yellow webs, whose silk is strong as steel.>Attack a foe with Pigsnorts Ritual Dagger (roll a 1d6+1) >Use a spell (which?) >Do some Halfling shit! >Flee! Urist can also flee next turn! >Write-in
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 14:21:14 No. 5443896 Report Quoted By:
FUCK I fucked up and emitted some text. I've been doing this all on my phone and it's a pain in the ass. Rather than try to delete and repost everything, I'll just add in what I accidentally didn't post. Fuck, I make you wait for an update this long, and I shit it up this bad. /facepalm
Missing text goes between first two posts...
>>5443875 ...Dealing 1d1 damage to her. She doesn't care; she's ravenous. She pounces on you again, kissing your neck and cheeks and forehead, and sticking her tongue in your mouth. Now, she's pulling you in by your beard, sucking your tongue with all she's got, and stroking your cock over-the-trousers the best she can. It's way too girthy for her to get even a quarter-grip with just one dainty hand. The girth and length is about equivalent to 4 pineapples stacked on top of each other right now, but it's still growing in both dimensions. Losing... Blood flow... To brain... Again!
"Myhernee! Stop!! Grkk...!!"
"Oh, yeah, Urist...
>>5443876 Literally just all erotic fluff, but I hate myself for fudging the update. I'd redo it but it'd take me like 20+ minutes to do on my phone. Sorry... I do have combat pretty well planned out, though, so the next post shouldn't take... Two weeks. Seriously, thanks for sticking with me, guys. I still plan to do another full non-combat update or two before putting this quest on hiatus for ~1.5-2 months. I will come back stronger.
Pineapple
good update QMSize doesn't mean anything, the important matter is taste after all for eating pineapple?
Pineapple
>>5443883 >>Use a spell (which?) Spiritual Dick-on : a local variant of spiritual weapon were our caster use the might of ancestry dick-slappping mastery of his bloodline to conjure the phantomatic dick of one ancester. The flying ectoplasmic dildo can be thought-control like a regular spiritual weapon, but it can also be used in the bedroom.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 15:14:05 No. 5443935 Report >>5443919 It'll taste glorious
>>5443924 Donald Skreazly casts Spiritual Dick-on!! A pimply and bent, but thick spectral Halfling cock materializes! It's dripping neon green ectoplasm!
...
Looks like Spiritual Dick-on deals increased damage if it occupies a higher level spell slot. Which spell slot would you like to use it in? (Up to 6th, minimum is second, I believe.)
Deals 1d8 at second slot, gets an extra d8 for each level above. If no answer received in a few hours, I'll say Donald learned it at the fourth level (3d8). Max is 5d8 but takes a high level spell slot (sixth level).
(I hope/think I'm doing this right)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 15:24:45 No. 5443945 Report >>5443935 Scratch that, I can't read. It's +1d8 per every TWO levels above the second.
So 2d8 at 4th level and 3d8 for 6th level.
Please let me know if I'm discussing/using the spell slots incorrectly.
Spiritual Dick-on also allows for a bonus action each turn - another Xd8 attack anywhere within 25ft of the first target. This spell will last for 60 seconds, about 5 full rounds of combat.
Anonymous
>>5443945 I would say 4th and have it hit the closest spider.
I'll get started on donalds stat blocks soon. is he Death domain.
Anonymous
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d6 + 1) >>5443945 and considering casting Spiritual Dick-on is a bonus action i'll vote for our main action
>Attack a foe with Pigsnorts Ritual Dagger (roll a 1d6+1) Tiebreak Loser
Rolled 5, 4, 6, 3, 7 + 2 = 27 (5d8 + 2) >>5443974 I'll just go standard array of 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8. Do you know what his background is.
Standard array: +2 dex and +1 Cha from race. and a +1 to con and wis from ability score improvement
Lightfoot Halfling:
Rolling for health.
Tiebreak Loser
>>5443945 is the Ritual Dagger a dagger or shortsword beacuse daggers are a d4+dex instead of a d6
Tiebreak Loser
>>5443974 ignore me saying cast it at fourth we can only really cast it a 2nd and thrid is a waste.
Anonymous
>>5443878 here. I had to resist giving him spirit guardians to limit damage spells.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:5ej0Pcjh Wed 26 Oct 2022 20:38:22 No. 5444146 Report Quoted By:
Rolled 4 (1d8) >>5443978 >>5444041 >>5444043 >>5444063 (We'll go with what we've got so far, including stats and hit roll)
Here comes a Spiritual Dick-on bonus action, for 1d8 +Donald's spellcasting ability modifier (which I am unsure of currently but will factor it in next round when I figure it out)
The cock of Weazly Skreazly, Donald's great, great, great grand-uncle, smites the same Miniature Gigantic Spider that was struck with Donald's blade! The spider doesn't like it, not one bit!
But it survived!
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:5ej0Pcjh Wed 26 Oct 2022 20:40:39 No. 5444148 Report >>5444112 Nifty! So would that be a +6 to spellcasting, or a +3 (from Wis)?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5444148 Cast is wisdom + pro so 3+3= 6
It would deal an extra 3 damage though.
Anonymous
>>5444148 So what class is Myherne then? Because she's definitely our next party member.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:s4rmvJ1s Wed 26 Oct 2022 21:54:47 No. 5444209 Report Rolled 2, 3, 2, 1 + 1 = 9 (4d3 + 1) Here comes the first Mini Giant Spidey, striking the vulnerable Surprised Fonderferson with a generic Bash† attack! You can't defend! Look out!!!
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:s4rmvJ1s Wed 26 Oct 2022 21:57:31 No. 5444212 Report Quoted By:
>>5444195 Maybe you can have a hand in deciding! Is she a Bard? Sorcerer? Barbarian, lol?
(Next phase coming soon, just finishing up at work)
Tiebreak Loser
>>5444209 Surprised mean's that we don't get an action or reaction for that turn.
remember that Urist has advantage on Saving Throws against poison and Resistance against poison damage.
also while AC is usually what someone need to hit someone what does it do in this game? the enemies seem to auto hit so it would cool for AC to have a different function.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Wed 26 Oct 2022 23:10:56 No. 5444285 Report >>5444232 Shit bro, I'm so far removed from being knowledgeable that I cringe every time I hit "Post," expecting to be told I'm doing everything wrong. Are there any good videos or online guides how to git gud at DM'ing/being a player? I don't want to change the whole system away from DnD mechanics, and I've been itching to learn for years. I likely wouldn't really have time to study up on it until this thread is over, though, unfortunately.
I'll get this round figured out shortly, including if the poison took hold of the boys.
Also, side note, my hot coworker I've been flirting with saw me updating this at work and asked me what I was writing, I managed not to sperg out, but I had to lie about writing a short story. I felt bad for lying, but it's probably better than telling her I'm writing about a Dwarf at a spinoff Hogwarts who kills sentient life with his giant, cursed cock.
Tiebreak Loser
>>5444285 typing "how to be a dm for the first time" in youtube can bring up so good video's and you could always *shudders* make a post on r/DnD or r/DMAcademy.
I figured you were skipping the AC part to quicken things along because you have limited time to write (which is completely fair).
As for lying... good call.
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Thu 27 Oct 2022 00:03:58 No. 5444336 Report Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2) >>5444299 Ty and I suppose skipping AC is half ignorance, half convenience
>>5444285 The Uber Venom doesn't fuck around, it's got a DC of 18!
(Okay, I hope I'm doing this right)
Above is Donald's attempt to resist the Uber Venom
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Thu 27 Oct 2022 00:06:52 No. 5444342 Report Rolled 14, 14 + 8 = 36 (2d20 + 8) >>5444336 Here's Urist's attempt (with Advantage) to block the poison's effects!
(+4 bonus from CON, and +4 from his resist to poison, a number I just pulled out of my ass)
Tiebreak Loser
Rolled 5, 4, 11, 20 + 4 = 44 (4d20 + 4) >>5444342 advantage is usually just rolling twice and taking the better roll like this (disadvantage is just taking the worse roll). funnily enough mathematically advantage equals a +5 so you were actually close.
if we are doing a auto hit system might I suggest a damage reduction (on initial hit). maybe for every 2 points above 10 is a point of damage reduction. Donald would have -4 per hit and we would have a -1
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Thu 27 Oct 2022 00:56:41 No. 5444375 Report Wow wee, did you survive all that?>Attack with your dagger >Use a spell (which?) >Ready your cum cannon for a multi blast next turn >Squeeze out a quick cum blast at a single target this turn >Do some Dwarf shit >Flee! >Write-in >Attack with your dagger >Use a spell (which?) >Do some Halfling shit >Flee! >Write-in
Tiebreak Loser
Rolled 7, 11 = 18 (2d12) >>5444375 Urist
>Toll the Dead on the hurt one (make a dex save) Donald
>Attack with your dagger (different spider) >use his touch of death channel divinity to do an extra 17 necrotic damage. >Attack a spider with the sacred weapon (same one that Donald hits). your welcome it's the least I could do after you took over QMing.
Tiebreak Loser
Quoted By:
>>5444378 wisdom save not dex save.
Anonymous
>>5444378 Support but toll the dead and quickshot as a bonus action
Anonymous
>>5444606 What do you mean quick shot
Pineapple
Quoted By:
>>5444754 With our big caliber "gun" obviously
Anonymous
>>5444378 From what I can gather, that 2d12 is just for Toll the Dead, right? Operating off that premise for now
Planning on updating when I wake up
Tiebreak Loser
>>5445981 That's right. It's a 2d12 on injured people on 2d8 on non-injured
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 17:22:42 No. 5446307 Report Quoted By:
Rolled 1 - 4 (1d20 - 4) >>5444378 Miniature Gigantic Spider WIS: 3 (-4 to roll)
vs. DC 14
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 18:10:38 No. 5446339 Report Rolled 2 (1d10) >>5446190 The arachnid succumbs to the Dwarf's necrotic cantrip, and so Urist continues on to use a bonus action on the next foe in the lineup, his penis unfurling as if it had a mind of its own, then launching a Quick Spurt of probably only just a measly quart or two of his super sperm! The spider is pasted in a coat of jizz! (Blinds for 1 round on crit)
Wow, this cock has all kinds of hidden abilities!
Donald Skreazly is flabbergasted at what he's witnessing, but stays in the fight. He raises his dagger to the goo-blasted beastie...
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 18:17:08 No. 5446347 Report Rolled 5 + 18 (1d6 + 18) >>5446339 Donald unleashes his might on the slimy creature!! (d6+1 from item stat, +17 from Touch of Death. Sticking with the incorrect stats for daggers, will likely be amended when I return next session with more knowledge)
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 18:27:10 No. 5446364 Report Quoted By:
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d8 + 6) >>5446347 Donald attacks with just enough might to dust off a second spider before they descend upon the group once more!
As MiniGiant Spider 3 approaches at full steam, Donald's Spiritual Dick-on lashes out in a futile attempt to stop it!
>>5444372 Woops didn't mean to ignore this, it popped up after I had posted the update since I didn't refresh the thread in time. I'm open to fleshing out the damage reduction idea or other attempts to satisfyingly transfer the soul of the mechanics of a typical DnD session to /qst/. I will also probably assume a session time to avoid feeling responsible for daily updates, as playing/thinking about dnd for a month straight day and night can be taxing on the mind. Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 18:35:35 No. 5446370 Report Quoted By:
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d3 + 1) It's a sturdy thump, but the Spider skitters right through the ectoplasmic johnson and hits the envenomed Skreazly with a Bash! Since the spider is about the size and weight of a Shiba Inu, it doesn't hurt very much!
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 18:46:47 No. 5446375 Report Once Urist is done giving a cursory scratching to his balls, he jumps back in the fray with a brilliant maneuver to be determined by our handsome and intelligent players!>Attack with your dagger >Use a spell (which?) >Do some raunchy shit >Do some Dwarf shit >Flee! >Write-in >Attack with your dagger >Use a spell (which?) >Do some Halfling shit >Flee! >Write-in
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:mKV/rs0Q Sat 29 Oct 2022 18:55:04 No. 5446384 Report Quoted By:
Rolled 2 (1d5) +++WARNING! SPOILERS! WARNING!+++The journey out of the forest isn't as peaceful as Uri Fonder would have hoped, he and the envenomed Skreazly encounter... 1 - Darko Foymalf and 2 of his goons! 2 - Just a pitiful Gob-Dobby. Let's bully it! 3 - A group of Land Squids ripe for the picking! 4 - A Giant Spider coming to check on its children that you've been killing! 5 - What's worse than one Giant Spider? TWO GIANT SPIDERS!! :D
Tiebreak Loser
>>5446375 Urist
>fulll action total unload from our "gun" on spider 4 Donald:
>first use bonus action spiritual weapon on spider 4 (1d8+3 nec) >then cast Vampiric Touch (losing concentration on spiritual weapon) and attack spider 4 (3d6 nec heal half the damage) Pineapple
Tiebreak Loser
I guess I'll see you guys next thread.
Luker
Pineapple
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4
Fonderferson's narrator !!e52AMs7DmX4 ID:sIx8izXI Sun 13 Nov 2022 16:34:17 No. 5462188 Report >>5458621 >>5459399 >>5459893 Sorry to leave you all hanging in the midst of battle.
We shall return... Soon.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>5462188 Where is the our favorite killer cop? How much longer are you going to make us wait?
