Your father never misses church on Sundays. If you were to sit him down and ask him, "Do you think you're a good Christian?" he would undoubtedly say no, he wasn't, and he would look real contrite about it, kind of sheepish, like he'd been caught shoplifting. He has low self-esteem. At least, that's what your mom says. Like one time, you found a sketchbook in his bottom desk drawer (you were looking for some markers for a class project) and it was filled with these amazing drawings. Superheroes, knights in armor, space gals in shiny bodysuits with rayguns. In the back there was fifty pages of a fully drawn and colored comic book. It was about a group of modern-day explorers found a time portal to 1090 AD, exactly 900 years ago, and decided to observe how people in Medieval times lived. You ended up reading the whole thing right in his office. And the next day you took the book to school to show your friends and one of them suggested making a xerox and sending it to a cousin he had that worked in comic books. Two months later there was a check for $750 dollars in the mail and a personal letter from the editor saying how impressed he was with the work and whether you had any more? Your dad found the check first (of course) and it was the only time you've ever seen him get mad. He grounded you for a week. He said also he was going to return the check, but he never did. Your mom ended up convincing him to use the money to buy a new washing machine. And you got a brand new bike out of it, too.

Anyway, the point is, if you hadn't sent in the comic, there's no way your father would have himself. Your mom tried to convince him to submit more stuff (she never knew about the drawings either, until then) but on that point he wouldn't budge. "I just got lucky," he would say and he'd give that same sheepish, apologetic look, smiling a little while he did it. Your father's a little mysterious like that. He can do strange things. He'll never talk about God, never even say his prayers out loud, but he'll go to church every Sunday.

So when the "incident" happened at Strauss Middle School, it was only you that wasn't entirely surprised by his decision: to enroll you in Pee Wee football.

>What was said incident?
>You were being bullied by an eight grader. Nothing too serious, just pranks on the bus ride home, but it was getting worse.
>The same as above, but actually, you were the bully. You were just goofing around but the other kid took it personally and snitched.
>One of the girls in your class started spreading nasty rumors about another girl and somehow your name got thrown in the mix
>Write-in