A buzzing sound woke you – not the usual alarm clock noise, more like a large bug flying right past your ear.
The scenery greeting you was unfamiliar. Trees. Bushes. Insects flying around. The sounds of cawing and croaking filling the air. “Shit.”
You usually spend your days holed up in your cramped apartment, playing videogames, shitposting. Drowning in your misery, finding comfort only through energy drinks and junk food.
Try as you might, you can’t seem to recall what could have possibly brought you to this place. Kidnapping? Finally having a psychotic breakdown?
You got up, brushing the dirt off your clothes. Being alone in the woods gave you the creeps, like at any moment some animal would jump you.
Something shuffled in the bushes. You flinched.
“Hello? Anyone out there?” you called, cautiously.
“Yes. I’m here. Watching. Just like I was watching when you typed down those words.” That didn’t come from the bushes. Sounded like a woman. Girl, really. Yet, hearing another person didn't bring you any comfort.
Your eyes darted all over, looking for the speaker. The realization set in that the voice was really in your head.
“You said, and I quote ‘I could take the gorilla solo.’ Well, here’s your chance, hero. Prove it to this one goddess,” she said, the poison dripped from her words.
Something straight out of a shitty anime burst into view: a game menu. Generic as hell, blue translucent UI, the works.
>[Mission Acquired: Defeat 100 Evil Gorillas and Save the World]
“Oh no…” you rubbed your temples. “I’m stuck in a shitty fucking isekai.”
Another menu popped up.
>[Status]
Class: Shitposter (Lv.1)
Might: -1
Agility: -1
Endurance: -1
Intellect: +1
Skills: Videogames +1, Shitposting +2
Now, what the fuck should you do in a survival situation? You think…
>A) I’m pretty sure I read online that I had to find water first… (Roll d20 best of 3)
>B) No wait, it said to find shelter. Definitely. (Roll d20 best of 3)
>C) Or perhaps it was to find a weapon? (Roll d20 best of 3)
>D) Freak the fuck out!
>E) Write-in