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Spent the last day and and a half fixing this thing up. Melting down spare runner to patch up holes, sanding down ill-fitting pieces so they fit into the places they're supposed to, wet-sanding entire surfaces down after patching up the holes, re-sanding parts that didn't turn out so good after the first attempt, and so on.
Now, you might ask, was it worth all this effort on a $6 Chinesium knockoff action base I bought off of Ali Express? And my answer is, fuck yeah it was worth it, instead of being about 60-70% as good as an actual action base, now it's probably in the 95% range. And since this was my first time doing the melted runner trick, I got to expand my repertoire and improve my technique, and had a blast doing so.
Next on the chopping block are a set of knockoff Action Base 1's ($12 for a triplet). It's from the same manufacturer so I expect I'll encounter the same types of defects. I originally bought these just to see how they compare to actual Action Bases (which cost in the neighborhood of $8-10 apiece under normal circumstances), but if they hold up then they'll save me a decent amount of money in the long run.