Quoted By:
>Hey guys Jobby here
>This is Item X from Series Z
>I'll be honest, I don't give a shit and I've never seen it
>But I've fapped to it teehee *show cut-off porn picture or self-made hentai*
>The sculpt and paint on this figure IS AMAZING
>Especially on the naughty bits *zoom in and distort along with wacky sound effect*
>Did I mention I'm suicidal?
>This figure is perfect for cutting my wrist- AHSHIT
>*Forced "pose" pun or just not even trying anymore and straight up admitting he can't think of anything*
>Everything is a balljoint except *wacky distorted SWIVEL that makes it ok because I totally hate this meme even though I can't let it go*
>Beautiful spread *insert zoom on figure genitals with ancient Al Pacino meme that his fans don't even acknowledge anymore*
>*If it's a transforming figure insert elevator music montage here. If it's not, fuck it, insert it anyway because I really feel the need to insert these montages to pad out the videos*
>*Ham-hand the toy and toss it around or make le funni sketch about it by smearing shit on it or burning it or whatever*
>Size comparison *show one relevant figure then MADOKAGODZILLAPRIME in increasingly wacky tones*
>Overall this figure is awesome *kiss*
>*Shill for sponsor of the month*
>*Keep uploads to a minimum until the next PO unboxing so you can spend as much time doing nothing while still having your 14yo fans pledge to your patreon and send you free 250$ figures*
Every review
