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>I want to make hipster bootleg toys
>I have no skills in any of the requisite fields required for this
You look up some guides online and then give up before the end of the night. You don't just get to the level of making competent toys, even 5poa 70s stuff without spending months learning how to sculpt and god knows how many more actually learning how physical media like paint works and how to apply it to a toy you'd be handling.
I guarantee you will not actually do anything.