>>5259715The general consensus here on /toy/ is the only reason you ever should kill yourself is if you are a scalper.
Hang in there anon. Get a grip on things and get better. The only thing that will make you feel better is becoming active again.
When you have some free time, clean up, dust, rotate your collection around, take some time and enjoy the stuff. Maybe move some furniture around too, give the place a new look.