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>a teeny tiny sailor moon keyring I have on my shelf and SoC Mazinkaiser
Well, Kaiser by himself could probably get the job done considering how heavy and spikey he can be. Could do some decent damage with the Final Kaiser Blade;s pointy tip. Never actually watched Sailor Moon so I've got no idea what she could actually do, but she's magical so that's alright. Between the pair of them they can take down the burglar, save by Xbone and I can get back to playing SSX3.