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A week ago I went to my local Walmart, hoping to buy some action figures. They had the Black Widow wave in, but it had already been pretty well picked over. I thought hard about picking up Tasky, but I just couldn't justify the price to myself at the time, plus I think I'm gonna wait for the SHF. And they also had the Red Guardian there. Fat, slovenly, no accessories, not very accurate, bizarre sculpting choices... I thought about it, I compared the likelihood of them coming out with a better one down the line, I weighed him in my hands... and I put him back.
Yesterday, I go to my local Walmart, looking for a toy. They were pretty well wiped out at this point. Still enough Shuris to fill a moderately unwatchable nerdcore hip hop video, and they had the spymaster or whatever he's called covering shelves, but all the Black Widow toys were gone.
Except for Red Guardian.
In the week since I'd last seen him, someone had torn open his box and taken the BAF piece, then a walmart drone saw fit to mark him down to 14.88 in order to appease the local Nazis. And there he was, alone in the clearance section, looking utterly forlorn and unwanted. And, god help me, I bought him, brought him home, and right now he's recuperating with Captain America. He's had a rough life so far, and frankly the road ahead is going to be rough too as we get his hair fixed and figure out if he can take other hands, and that shield's probably gonna see some adjusting after the movie comes out, but for now, he's at peace.
Rest easy, Comrade Soviet, your journey has only begun.
