It's the 1990s. Your mom has taken you to Kaybee Toys. You spent all day with your family at the mall and the promises she made to you in exchange for your patience grew. It's time to collect your rewards.

You walk past the yapping robotic dog at the entrance. Your sister got one of those for Christmas once and you grew bored of it quickly. You won't be diagnosed with ADHD until your 30s because you're not the hyperactive type, so everyone just thinks you're shy and quiet.

The possibilities presented by the eternal 3 for 10 deals overwhelm you. Mighty Max, Kenner Batman, Street Sharks, Power Rangers. You've lost interest in TMNT lately but it'll be another year or two before all of your allowance starts going toward Pokemon cards and N64 games.

You deliberate over which Batman variant to buy from the latest Kenner line, and decide the Bruce Wayne with an armor equipping gimmick is the coolest. Unfortunately, your sister throws a tantrum over wanting a troll doll, and it cuts into your budget. Lately you've been playing undressing games with each other after your parents turn the lights out and it makes you feel strange and ashamed for reasons you don't understand.

You decide on a discounted figure from Aaaaa Real Monsters. It's got a fun grossout gimmick.

After your mom dies of cancer, one of your only memories of her will be a Rock and Roll themed Bugs Bunny she bought you for your birthday. You hadn't liked Bugs Bunny since you were 2 or 3, but the idea that someone loved you enough to remember that fact for years makes you feel so alone.

You play with the toy for a day and lose it. You'll never be this happy again.