>>59035217I made some really good progress, mainly on notes more than actual revisions. Although just today I started seriously examining the first chapter in light of reading IMO and CCanon's recommendations for it a while back.
Namely the hook in light of the the relationship between the MC and Clair becoming more and more central over the drafts I've written, with the relationship between the MC and his starter becoming less pounced. For now the intro is still more or less the same, the mc being anxious introspecting, and then getting his starter.
But I've been starting to think it would be better to change the opening to this.
>Clair fight as the new opening>Rhys talking to his Aunt >Flashback to earlier in the day until we get to the point the Clair fight would happen>Aunt again, Rhys talks to Sneasel>Banquet from the MC's pov (instead of the short Sneasel PoV it is right now)>Clair says that she's still go out on his journey with himThe the rest of the chapter is the same from then on out with him getting the letter from Petrel. These changes would only really affect the first chapter, although I could compress the opening Sneasel PoV from chapter into the end of chapter one. That way exposition on the Gyms happens at the same time Sneasel's mental faculties are show to the audience.
Funnily enough I added Aunt Joy as a character to my drafts right before reading IMO. Even when I did talk to him about his fic before he posted it, it was mainly us talking about Ocelot and Chien-Pao.
Ignore picrel I actually imagine all of the Treasures of Ruin as male. 
