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Dear reader,
This man is an average well to do man. He's got good looks, great hair, and has purchased sodas to consume. He has a job and a good amount of wealth. Everything is good with him right?
No.
Little did you know that he harbors a deep dark secret. A secret so shameful that Hilary Clinton's email are small talk compared to this.
Sure you wonder, what might that dark secret be? It can't be worse than Hilary Clinton's emails (which is way worse than 9/11). It must be truly sickening.
Yes, dear reader he plays pokemon. Pokemon is a Japanese phenomenon that has been infecting Americans since the 1990's. It is a form of animal pornography and this content infects the brains of anybody who watches it. After they consume pokemon they cannot stop. Soon after they begin to pretend to be little animals on the internet. And given enough time they will seek animals to have their way with them. It is up to you to say NO to pokemon. Say NO to animals and say NO to poketism.
Only you can prevent animal molestation.
This has been a public message by the NSA.
Fuck the pokefags.
