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>unironically debating this crap
He's a 10-year-old permanent character on a never-ending show for little kids that operates on Simpsons time and has a rotating supporting cast. What the fuck were you expecting...a Casanova?
He'll grow up someday, off screen, and we almost certainly won't get to see any of it, so quit bothering with this bullshit. It's fucking irrelevant.