>>54753110Reason No. 3: In Hot Water and On Thin Ice
Moving onto the next point, Vaporeon can learn moves like Hydro Pump, Hyper Beam, and Scald, which will cause bodily harm to anyone who tries to butter the buns of the Bubble Jet Pokémon. Scald stands out the most because the water from that move could actually reach temperatures that are powerful enough to cause third-degree burns or worse on human skin. It takes water boiled at 155 degrees Fahrenheit to cause burns, blisters, and irreparable damage to human skin. Now just imagine what that move could do to your blue-veined custard chucker. If you ever get hit by the move Scald, you are going to essentially experience the same thing that Anakin Skywalker experienced on Mustafar after he ignored the high ground, albeit way less tragic and way more embarrassing. Thankfully, there will be no amputated limbs involved, but you will still have to kiss your beef bayonet goodbye. Also, it can learn moves like Hail, Blizzard, and Ice Beam, which would give your genitals and body frostbite and hypothermia, respectively. Finally, moves like Hydro Pump and Hyper Beam would practically send your entire family line into the Shadow Realm in ways that other compatible Water-type Pokémon such as Tentacruel, Floatzel, Jellicent, and Octillery could only dream of doing. Vaporeon has so many ways to destroy your family jewels that it should change its nickname from the "Bubble Jet Pokémon" to the "Castrator Pokémon" for pretty obvious reasons. Believe me, there are more ways for Vaporeon to end your family line too, which I'll talk about in a later post.
