Quoted By:
Me too lads, although he was obsessed with Cyndaquil and it was while I worked at GameStop.
>be me
>work at GameStop
>minimum wage, dead inside, etc.
>store attracts the usual weirdos, but one guy stands out
>enters like clockwork every week mid-30s, greasy ponytail, wears the same Cyndaquil hoodie every time
>hoodie is old as hell, weird stains, probably never washed
>smells like a mix of sweat, incense, and Monster Energy
>only talks to female employees
>ignores male staff like they don’t exist
>walks up way too close, leans in, whispers instead of talking
>“Heh… you ever think about spirit bonds with Pokémon?”
>no one ever asks what he means, but he always keeps going
>obsessed with Cyndaquil
>talks about it like it’s his soulmate
>”Cyndaquil’s so cute, Y’know? Most people don’t understand it like I do.”
>once spent an hour describing a dream where he became a Cyndaquil
>starts breathing heavily when he talks about how “soft” it is
>also a furry, of course
>brings up his “fursona” within five minutes of conversation
>“I’d show you my ref sheet, but it’s kinda… intense.”
>no one asks what that means
>we all know what that means
>one time, a new girl asks what games he likes
>“Oh, mostly Pokémon… but also obscure horror RPGs with deep occult symbolism.”
>starts ranting about esoteric rituals and how Pokémon evolution represents “ascension of the soul”
>literally quotes Aleister Crowley while talking about Pikachu
>tries to flirt using Pokémon facts
>”Did you know Cyndaquil’s fur is incredibly sensitive? Haha, kinda like me…”
>recoiling_internally.jpg
>worst part? he always pays in crumpled-up cash
>cash is damp
>why is it damp
>finally one of the managers tells him to stop being creepy
>he hisses
>like an actual hiss
>leaves in a hurry, doesn’t come back for months
>comes back randomly one day, won’t look at anyone
>wearing a Quilava hoodie now
>he evolved
