>>54586927i actually read it. it's pretty good. but just to be an obnoxious faggot i'll name the things i didn't like first. and do it in list form:
>humour was a bit overdone>Emotionally things jumped a bit to keep the pacing smooth>Opening was a bit band (tho idk how else i'd write it)it's not perfect, but that's all the criticism I could reasonably give you. course you'll have time to fuck up later, but still. now time to list the things i LIKED about the fic:
>Good grammar, good grasp of english.>Pacing was smooth throughout, made it a very enjoyable read>Well characterized protags, their characters came through in their inner voice, and the dialogue wasn't too bad>This specific setup with not!Florian and nemona seems like pretty good setup for a S/V story with a different twist.in short, it's very nice for what it is now. but a fic like this lives or dies on the actual "adventure" aspect of the adventure. so i'll see where it goes. Tldr: good job.
P.S. making sprigatito (and meowscarada) a male and giving it to nemona makes you a madman
