>>14552723"Yeah, why? Are you afraid you're going to be alone or something? I can stay home if you wan-"
Instantly your mother shoots down the proposal with a hand wave, "N-No, no no, no! That's fine, fine, it's GREAT that my little boy already has friends, already has his very own Pokemon, and is already on his way to becoming a trainer, PERFECT! That means you're going to be busy for the next few months!"
"You know if you just want me to get out of the house so you can have it to yourself, then you should have just asked. You're making this sound much more crueler than it needs to be!"
Cue a hug from her, a vain attempt at some sympathy points, "Oh god, OOOOH GOOOD, my baby, my baby's leaving! He's leaving mommy for the first time in years!"
'She's not even trying to fake it...'
"Alright alright! You're crushing me, you know!" before she can crush you (aren't you the one that's supposed to be crushing?) with her ma hands, she lets go.
"I'm being serious though! Okay, so, maybe I *do* suddenly want you to go, but I am sad at the same time, I tried my hardest to raise you, and now you're all grown up..."
She squeezes one of your cheeks. It's terribly unnecessary.
"Ow.."
"I'm feeling so melancholic... Once you're gone the only thing that'll keep me going through the day is hardcore stallion sex, and that's why I need you to go right away."
You spurt out a bunch of nonsense, "S-Sex!?"
Before she can explain, she pats your back and eagerly attempts to shoo you out of the house, "Life is a series of compromises, honey. Just deal with it, OH, and always change your boxers after every shower! Don't wear shirts twice in a row, and always iron your clothes, Kalos women these days like EUPHORIC men!"
She shuts the door on you.
