>>47552083The climax of the narrative is competent. It has a few very neat tricks and some good spectacle, but ultimately it wasn’t something I was dazzled by. Indeed, Mimiga employees a narrative structure in the final fight that is outright ill-advised. It is not executed poorly, but that is all that can be said. It is executed.
Instead, I found the greatest enjoyment in exactly the place I thought would: the aftermath. Watching the culmination of the previous 118,000 words unfold over the last 12,000 in how the characters spoke and interacted and what they did and how they thought, as well as the use of another writing medium to help put a bow on everything, meant that I enjoyed Scarlet Guardians the most when it was coming to a close. It is at its very strongest at this point, and it ties together the only loose thread that had to be tied expertly.
I could focus on specific points that were flawed, on sections and passages and ways to improve them, but I’ve already got those compiled on a very long document that Mimiga has in his possession. In much the same way, I could focus on the things I liked and wish to emulate myself, but those exist in the very same document. So instead, I’ll give the zoomers that skipped to the end the QRD:
SCARLET GUARDIANS
POSITIVES
+Competent execution
+Good characterization of the main cast
+Strong imagery and sense of place
+Peppered with properly indulgent moments
+Unique fusion of genre and setting (mahou shoujo and Pokemon)
+Has Tenni and Reginauld in it
+It is magical girls
NEGATIVES
-Too long; 10k words a chapter as a rule means a few chapters are clearly padded
-Missed opportunities for further characterization and much stronger emotional payoff
-Hits its absolute lowest point in the center of the text, a bad place to have a hill to overcome
-It is magical girls
MAKE/BREAK
?It is magical girls
?Wears its anime influences on its sleeve with a grin but no wink
?There are no Ottelia doujins [3/3]
