>>42216125How so? In a way, he grew up alongside me, from a young teen to an adult like me. It's weird, it's not like I project him, or us, in this "reality", when I see us together it's in a sort of AU where everything is the same except he's always been there. It's hard to explain. Also, we aren't always in the same period of time, sometimes it's us just meeting each other, sometimes it's us in our 40s talking to our children, sometimes it's us at 60 talking about a long trip around the world. There are times where we even cried together because our children will soon leave home to go study and our house will feel empty. It's not constant.
Sometimes if I'm hanging out with my friends in the cinema or wherever, in reality all I'm seeing is me with him, maybe we're 30, and I talk and laugh with him as we watch said movie, I'm in a reality where that is what's happening. Time is not constant, we've been together all our lives. In my mind I've lived an entire parallel life and I can visit whichever stage I want whenever I want.
Not only I know I'll be unable to be with anyone that isn't him, I know that if for some reason I do, I'll hate my children because they won't be the children I've had with him. I've decided to dedicate my life, the real one, educating myself, getting my foreign passport, getting good jobs, all in hopes of traveling the world and finding him. I want to be with him, physically, I want to find him, I want to know he's real, and if he's not.. I don't mind "living" with him like this until I die. I can see and hear him and that's all I need.
