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i have really bad ADD, trust issues, and am incredibly bipolar. im gay but also incredibly picky about who im attracted to and want to date, as in the last 23 years or so of my life theres only been one guy who i literally want to marry and thats my best friend (who, as i came to later find out, is gay as well) but ive never felt that urge to spend the rest of my life with anyone else. it gets to the point sometimes where i just sit in bed and all i can think about is him, and he has no clue. its been like this for six years now and ive never said a single word to him because my crippling anxiety prevents me from saying anything. all of these problems cause me to live in a constant state of fear, and this being my last year of uni only adds to that. my life is a wreck and i dont know how to get out of that
i also sometimes feel like im non-binary but ive never told anyone because i dont wanna be looked down upon more than i already am
