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Progress: Okay, so I shouldn't have been that worried at all! Magnor became a Magneton, and LA Blue Girl is now a man-fiddling machine!
Jasmine was pretty easy when Lava Cake the Quilava and Mr. Bibby the Slowpoke arrived on the scene--Magnemites melted, Steelix drowned, and Jasmine's pigtails are rightfully slapped around! The sixth badge is mine, and... I still can't use Whirlpool outside of battle!
So now, outside of some grinding time, it'll be time to stop the Goldenrod Radio Massacre!