>>26638683Let me tell you about the worst day of my life.
I was out one day playing pokemon in the town centre on a bench on my phone. All of a sudden I smelt this awful smell, like stale urine and whiskey and felt warm moist breath on my shoulder and neck. Standing behind me was a tramp dressed in a heavy coat and a battered old fedora, he was looking at my screen. He opened his mouth to speak and as he did the stench of death crept forth from his toothless maw.
"What, ye playin' there, Sunshine?" he spluttered in a drunken approximation of a Scottish accent.
"P-pokemon." I replied nervously, hoping he would go away.
"Ooch, aye? Pokemon ye say? Isn't that a bit advanced for ye phone?"
"N-no sir. I p-play it on my phone because people would laugh at me if I were to play it on a 3DS like a normal person." I still though if I engaged him in conversation he might loose interest and leave me in peace.
"Aye, ye think so, eh? Well I've been on this Earth fer a long time and I reckon I learn me a few things in that time that you ain't."
At this point I thought enough was enough so I stood up to walk away, but the tramp faced me and put his hands on my shoulders.
"Don't ye be running off, sunshine. What I have to tell ye is important and it will change yer life." He was clearly angry and as he talked small globules of tramp spit were firing out of his mouth like bubbles bursting on a glass of Iron Bru, one of then landed on my eye.
