Quoted By:
A Kalosperm Pokémon Professor who was an expert on Mega Evolution and Smogonfag was teaching a class on Klefki, a known objectmon.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Klefki and accept that he was the most highly-evolved Pokémon the world has ever known, even greater than Charizard!”
At this moment, a brave, skilled, anti-competitive Pokémon champion who had completed the Pokédex without cheating and understood that Pokémon don't have to be strong to be good stood up and held up a toucan.
”Is this toucan a Pokémon, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It's Pikipek's final evolution, you stupid genwunner.”
”Wrong. It’s literally my mom's toucan. If it was a Pokémon as you say…then it shouldn't be a regular animal.”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Smogon's tier list. He stormed out of the room crying Fake Tears. The same Fake Tears Pokémon cry to lower “Special Defense” (which never should have been split, by the way) when they jealously try to claim that Charizard is unsuitable for competitive play. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Augustus Sycamore, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a Mega Evolution apologist. He wished so much that he had someone use an OHKO move to kill himself from embarrassment, but he himself had supported a meta that rules against using them!
The students applauded and all bought Red and Blue that day and accepted Charizard as their lord and savior. An Pidgeot named “Gen I Is Best Gen” flew into the room and perched atop a small yet completely impassable bush and shed a tear on the chalk. The complete Red and Blue was read several times, and Iwata's ghost himself showed up and gave everyone Mew.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of Stealth Rock damage and was forced to fight a Funbro for all eternity.
p.s. fuck you masuda
