Part 44:
http://archive.foolz.us/vp/thread/19003756Chapter Directory:
http://pastebin.com/sgnYBisD----------------------------------------------------------------------
A long ass time ago, about ten years ago or so during a time where Pokemon was ten times more popular than it is now, you vaguely recall seeing this one movie. It was Christmas-themed, and had something to do with all these kids running around a train, all with uncanny valley faces.
But it wasn't just the creepy, semi-realistic faces that prodded your interests the day you saw that movie. Sure, they made you piss your pants overnight because of how horrifying they looked, but that's aside from the point.
What grasped your ambiguously-aged 5-6 year old self at that time was the fact that there indeed existed a choo-choo train that abducts little kids on Christmas Eve in order to force hot chocolate on them while taking them to the North Pole to witness a bunch of elves totally janking it off to 'ol Saint Nick.
And then you grew up and your mom had to tell you the harsh truth that movies, like ghosts, fairies, and legendaries, do not exist and are just mythical propaganda to get the attention of dumb little snotheads (like you). And that if there indeed IS a real Santa Claus, then he would come to you in the form of a rockhopper penguin, not a jolly fat fuck.
Mom's wrong. It is real, it just has shit all to do with Christmas. 