Quoted By:
>From Kanto
>Bulbasaur is my favorite easy choice
>Spend all my time focused on training it
>Narrowly defeat Brock and Misty with a solo performance from Bulbabro
>Get to Vermillion City. Fuck around for a few weeks, burned out on the Gym Challenge
>Happen upon a sleeping Snorlax at the edge of town. Seems like a bro. Wake it up with Sweet Scent. Battle. Catch
>Visit home. Mom's visiting Alola with Oak. Odd. Fuck it. head to paradise
>Catch Muk. Catch Mudbray. Go home
>Waste some years in Pallet Town. Make money by catching Route 1 mon for little kids. Mudbray evolves
>Oak is pissed he gave me a starter 5 years ago at this point and I never completed league challenge
>He has dinner at my house. Odd. We argue, I tell him he's not my dad. He replies "You're right, I still get to fuck your mom."
>Police are called, I fucking leave
>End up in Johto a few months down the road harvesting Apricorns for this guy named Kurt. Cool ass dude
>Some thugs fuck with the Slowpokes in town, they disappear
>Kurt's a real hero type. Drunk off his ass we head to the well. He falls down the ladder
>Great. Now its my situation. Wreck shit in the well and save the day
>Find out they were cutting off slowpoke tails. I decide to show them how Razor Leaf is super effective on their stones
>Leave the eunuchs in the well and carry Kurt back home. He found a Slowpoke missing a tail. Gives it to me
>Slowpokes tail never grows back, gives no fucks. Uses his head to fish
>Gets bit by Shellder, evolves to Slowking
>Slowking spends time waxing poetic and making wine from berries while I work for Kurt. We all drink and chill every night
>Go camp in the woods. Morning. I see a Phanphy. Seems lost
>Takes a liking to Mudsdale, wont leave it's side. Catch
>Get back to Kurt's place. Mother fucking Oak is here, asking about some fucking GS ball
>Kurt's tells him he doesn't know shit about it, never got a package
>I laugh. Kurt pawned it in Goldenrod a couple weeks back for some bright powder and slot money
