>>50813364Thank you anon, I really needed a better critique of what I wrote than what my friends gave me and I'm happy to get one.
>greentexting is a fairly uninspired and bland way to tell a story, but whatever. I just like the greentext format because of old /x/ stories I used to read. Tried to fit it into a fan fiction format like /mlp/ writefags do.
>A Lugia in a bar? How? Why?That's just what I've found to be a easier environment to work with but I get it being out of place.
>And why are they so small? Did you use like, the official Pokedex totally inaccurate height or something?You're pretty much right, I kinda disregarded height.
>Confusing as the premise is, I find nothing particularly worthwhile of the interactions themselves. There isn't really any chemistry happening between the characters because you have simply manifested it out of thin air. It is happening because you have said so. The Lugia doesn't actually have a character, they are instead a means to project fantasy onto.That's what I have had trouble with and you are spot on about that, making the interaction organic and the pairing come together naturally without it feeling empty and vapid was the hardest thing and I kinda just gave up. I wasn't able to figure out a character structure for him in the story, tried coming up with something for a bit but after a while, I just wrote to write what came to mind, asking for some help in that regard, how would I go about getting a personality for the Lugia and making him more than a two dimensional character with shit motivations?
>Honestly this just seems like the kind of lazy self-indulgent fantasy that you would dream up right as you were trying to go to bed, generally disregarding conventions of character and place so that you can generate the fluffy feeling until you hit REM sleep. To be frank, it mostly was a spur of the moment thing, wrote it, edited it and added bits over days and just pasted it in the Lugia thread and on rentry.
