Quoted By:
>I'm off to my date with Stacy and her twin sister now.
Dude, I wanted to tell you this earlier but you were too busy arguing with people on the internet and complaining about that lifetime ban from TPCi's tournaments...
But Stacy and her sister were brutally murdered last night. Some crazy fuckwit just barged in there and went to town on 'em. Seriously, you probably would've known if you watched the news. There are even rumors that they were RAPED along with being beheaded, and not necessarily in that order too. And the killer stole their phones and a list of their accounts and passwords to said accounts.
Some Indian meal moths got into the flour. I found some larvae in it after you started baking those croissants.
Oh, and your test results came in. The doc says your sperm is horribly mutated and can't be donated to sperm banks due to potential birth defects.
