>>54327208Here's the usual.
>a mouthful of corn flakes*cornflakes
>a half chewed bit of muffin*half-chewed
>She uses rock type pokemon*rock-type
>with the dowsing machine on her poketch*Dowsing Machine (capitalized in chapter 2) and *pokétch
>They camped over night on Route 7*overnight
>With no other obvious>path to takeYou seem to have accidentally broken the line mid-sentence here.
>But just they were putting away*But just as they were putting away
>a thick rolled up blanket*a thick, rolled-up blanket
>Her high heeled sandals*high-heeled
>prepared to announce he presence*her presence
>Is giving me an eyefull*eyeful
>Dawn responded with a half shrug*half-shrug
>Dawn could only have dreamed to be a part*dreamed of being a part
>sounds of her pleasure and sheer arousal was echoing*were echoing
>"I know, it was so crazy." Lillie said.*so crazy," Lillie said.
>As she was explaining this, Dawn watched in fascination as she began to work her hips back and forth*as Olivia began to work her hips back and forth
I initially misread this as Dawn unconsciously mimicking her movements, so I mention this change just as a clarifier. Maybe others wouldn't misread it.
>"Yes Ma'am," Kiawe said*"Yes, Ma'am," Kiawe said
>Watching the muscular man hammer Olivia's ass and cumming inside her*and cum inside her
Alternatively, *hammering Olivia's ass and cumming inside her
>"Was?>You mean, um, past tense? Are they finally done?"Once again, accidentally broke the line mid-sentence. Maybe you meant to insert a reaction in between them?
>"Heh," Olivia chucked.*chuckled
>"Well I'm not complaining."*Well,
>The Tapu are going to be, um... upset. With *us."I'm guessing the asterisk was meant for something.
And finally, just a blanket
>pokemon*pokémon for the whole chapter
Also, I think a "Tapus" slipped in somewhere, rather than the plural "Tapu" used previously. Anyway, until next time.
