>>29133300Overly long response incoming, here we go
That was pretty nice overall, and enjoyable to read. I liked how all the Fennekin came up with unique plans, and it all panned out logically. The ending was quite cute as well.
Though I do have some nitpicks and things like that. First: some typos here and there, but nothing too major.
>The fields coinciding Route 7Should be "The fields coinciding at/in Route 7" (I think)
>it were distractedit was distracted
>"Why wouldn't it?" said the forthsaid the fourth
>Not to the know of her superiorsto the knowledge
>more conflicted than she's been in yearsshe had been (to match the past tense of the rest of the story)
And a comma splice here, unless I'm mistaken:
>The barrier between them was literal, just outside the porcelain wall of the tub pouted the second Fennekin before their caretaker knelt down to address the pouting.Also, it seems like you start off referring to each Fennekin as "it" but then shift to using the singular "they" for the rest of the story, so that should be fixed.
One last thing: when they were each coming up with their plans, the tense seemed to change a lot. Now, I'm not perfectly well-versed in grammar rules, so perhaps it actually was proper, but it seemed to me like it improperly jumped between the usual past tense and the future tense a lot. For example:
>The second and third Fennekin tried hard to come up with their own plans, but would end up sneaking behind a bush in discussion of how difficult it was before accidentally managing to form a plot together. It was from their combined efforts that they figured out...The story went from past to future to past again, with "tried", then "would end up sneaking", then "figured out". It stood out to me as not looking right, but again, maybe it actually is proper and I just misread it. If so, disregard this message.
Besides those things, it was a good story. And as a side note, good luck weathering that storm.
