>>13212528It's a good enough start I think. Quartz is a fun game to fool around with; your story could a fun read once there's more meat to it.
You should switch the dialog with the dash to just regular quote marks, though. It looks strange on its own and since you mixed the two ways it looks sloppy and inconsistent.
Also I can't say I like how you gave her her Japanese Pokemon Special surname. I'm guessing you didn't give her the English name since she's not supposed to be related to Birch in your fic, but it's another inconsistency issue I think. Also if you're trying to reference Pokemon Special with her I think it would be best to follow her nicknaming scheme with her Swampert too, although that's not really necessary and just a suggestion on my part.
