>>56321570Good work. Like in the first part, you're doing a very nice job with details, imagery, and character interactions. The combat in these recent parts is alright as well. I also think it's neat how you show the way native-born Pokemon combine human-level intelligence with more animalistic instincts and behavior.
As for criticism: there are still typos to watch out for, you frequently swap between past and present tense, and there are times when you forget to use commas or misuse capitalization with quotes. For example:
>"I'm Shelby" She announced brightly(It should be: "I'm Shelby," she announced brightly)
I also felt like the ending scene where they visit Heidi's home was too short and quick. However, these issues are rather minor, and I overall enjoyed this story.
Also, Heidi a cute, 10/10 would pet
>>56321595Our magma canvas has a second page that's smaller so mobile users can visit it without crashing. If you want to discuss the festival or get a link to the doc, you can try visiting there:
https://magma.com/d/h_wcz5f4px>>56310089>>56310212kek
>>56309599Pain
This is why I always include one of those in my bag, no matter what.
