>>27328672Oh, hey cge. I've red love lost in the past and really liked it.
I do like how you implement the characters and flush them out, but there are aspects of it that I think there should be a bit more detail to it. For example, we never know what James profession is during the events of the story. Don't exactly know why this is needed, but perhaps you could link his condition to where he works as a potential plot device. Other characters like the neighbor kid with the Septile were rather shallow.
Also something else that kinda bothered me was how you seem to copy/paste parts of your other stories into this one. Yeah I know they all take place on the same timeline and the same region, but I feel adding in that one part with that dragonite Ford was rather unnecessary to the main plot and that it just leaves the reader confused and expecting you to expand upon it more
Don't expect the reader to read everything you make in chronological orderAs for the plot with Grace and that other gardevoir, yeah it was a bit of a mess, especially near the end. But I get the feeling that that was intentional.
In the end I liked it, you do a good job of setting up a good atmosphere to work off of. The characters are interesting and actually have a personality (some more than others). And a lack of grammatical errors does make you seem a bit more competent when it comes to writing stuff. The complicated story does encourage the reader to pay attention so that they don't end up getting lost in it.
All in all, it's still better than a lot of the other fics on
ff.net that just end up being "and den dhey fhucked, de ehend". So I wound never consider it to be trash, more of a diamond in the rough.
9/10 inb4 when is part 2?>>27328972No worries already red it, was decent, nothing special to it desu. Feel as if it was just the begging to a story of the gardevoirs inevitable mental breakdown from her/his trainers death.
