>>25073162I don't know for certain because I'm lazy, but I'm pretty sure a really good place to start is to read A Little Braver in that there catalog. If I'm not mistaken it's pretty much what you're going to do but in Sky, and presumably done reasonably right (Which, again, I don't actually know because I'm too lazy to read it. I've just heard some things)
The way I'd go about retelling the story is a very careful one. Nobody really gives a shit to hear the same thing over again with far more detail, but if you can spice it up enough that it's original than there may be hope. Also, though I don't expect you to take this bit with how you've been going about it, I would most certainly try to throw a twist in the center that completely changes the direction of the story. Like, off the fucking rails kind of twist.
As for the romance part, I can't say I know too well the specifics of how to make that work
even if I'm writing that exact thing as we speak, and seems to be turning out damn smooth. Obviously it shouldn't be an incredible focal point, but I don't think you should feel afraid to tease that shit a bit. Everyone and their mothers go to ship the MC and their partner though, so you reeeeeeally have to stick it.
