>>46783364I don't wanna go down that rabbit hole. PL should be a cautionary tale.
>>46783556My issue is that I have no outlet for my frustration at being the worthless piece of shit I am. I've gotten in shape and had good hygiene and went outside and met people, but.... inevitably people insult me, tease me, bully me, laugh at me, ignore me, act like assholes towards me, and just generally destroy my fragile self esteem. I've had no self worth since I was in middle school. I've withdrawn from people because it's better than the shit being like me entails. But it still sucks. My recurring dreams involve me either being unable to perform a task, example; trying to dial a number on a phone and getting wrong every time, no matter how much I try and focus, it's always wrong, or urgently having to do something and my muscles move like I'm walking through water and no matter how hard I try, I'm unable to move my body to do said task. If I use something to heavily as an escape, I have no doubt I'll spiral into PL territory since reality has nothing to offer me except death.
